add some humour in the 43 things with funny postings.

I hope I made some people laugh! :D

A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist tells her that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant. The blonde tells him that she has bought that deodorant from this store before, and would like some more. The pharmacist tells her he’s sorry and that they don’t have any.

“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.

“Do you have the container it comes in?”

“Yes I do!” she says, “I’ll go and get it and come back.”

She returns with the container and gives it to the pharmacist. He looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”

The blonde, annoyed, snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, push up bottom.”

• Quand je lis le braille, je braille. (The First “braille” is exactly what is it, Braille, for blind people, the second one is another word for “Pleurer”, which means “to cry”. “Brailler” is a slang).
• The first duck wouldn’t go in the water. The other duck said “What are you, chicken?”.
• Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can’t croak.
• The visitor was always the first to arrive because he did not want to be second guest by anyone.
• Atom bombs dropped on coral islands took atoll on them.
• Before a mother knows the sex of her baby it’s a hidden agender.
• Today was tomorrow yesterday so don’t inhale.
• The riot at Macy’s was called a shopping maul

Source: http://www.punoftheday.com/

• Go buy a turkey
• Take a drink of whiskey
• Put turkey in the oven
• Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
• Set the degree at 375 ovens
• Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
• Turn oven the on
• Take 4 whisks of drinky
• Turk the bastey
• Whiskey another bottle of get
• Stick a turkey in the thermometer
• Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
• Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
• Take the oven out of the turkey
• Take the oven out of the turkey
• Floor the turkey up off the pick
• Turk the carvey
• Get yourself another scottle of botch
• Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
• Bless the saying, pass and eat out!

Source: http://www.ahajokes.com/fp012.html

• China: “Come Alive With Pepsi!” translated as “Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Dead.”
• “Got Milk?” was translated in Spanish as “Are you lactating?”
• China: Coca-Cola was first read as Kekoukela meaning “Bite the wax tadpole” or “Female horse stuffed with wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “kokou kole”, translating into “happiness in the mouth.”
• France: Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue. It was also the name of a notorious porno magasine. Cue sounds like “Cul” which is French for “Ass”.
• Brazil: Ford introduced their Pinto car to the Brazilian market unware of the fact that Pinto was Brazilian slang for ‘tiny male genitals’. When they realised their mistake they were left with no option but to remove all the nameplates and change the name.
• China: The Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger lickin’ good” appeared as “eat your fingers off”.
• Greece: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily (Greek hotel). Order your summer suits. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. (Tailors shop in Rhodes).
• Japan: You want it, we had it (Sign in the window of a Japanese electronics boutique). Car will not have intercourse on this bridge. (Tokyo traffic sign).
• Switzerland: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for (Swiss Restaurant)
• Poland: Salad a firm’s own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion. (Polish hotel menu).
• Mexico: Parker Pens ran into problems in the Mexican market when they introduced one of their ballpoint pens. Their advertisements were meant to carry the strapline “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you” Instead their translated advertisement read as “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant”. A fine example of mis-use of the Spanish word “embarazar” by a Parker Pens’ employee who thought this Spanish verb actually meant to “embarrass”!
• Africa: When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same cute baby picture on their label (trivia buffs know it’s Humphrey Bogart as an infant) as they used in the U.S. Later, when sales turned out to be sluggish, they discovered that in Africa companies routinely put a picture of what’s inside the jar on the labels, since most people can’t read. Which makes one wonder about the people who did buy it!
• Spanish: Coors put its slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.”
• The Chevrolet Nova never sold too well in Spanish-speaking countries, where the car’s name means “Doesn’t go.”
• “Puffs” facial tissues tried to introduce its product into Europe, only to learn later that in Germany the product’s name meant “Whorehouses,” and in Great Britain, “Homosexuals.”
• Chicken magnate Frank Perdue’s line “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken” was thus rendered into Spanish: “It takes a sexually aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”
• In the office of a Roman doctor: “Specialist in women and other diseases.”
• US: When Pope John Paul II visited Miami, Florida, a local T-shirt maker translated the phrase “I Saw the Pope” into Spanish by incorrectly using the feminine la papa instead of the masculine el papa, which made the T-shirts read: “I Saw the Potato.”

Other funny quotes, mistranslations and signs here:
http://www.goodquotes.com/mistranslation.htm

• “Suicide Hotline… Please hold.”
• If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
• Caution, Blind Man Driving.
• “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
• “Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.”
• “Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film!”
• “All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.”
• “When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
• “Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.”
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”
• “What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”
• “My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
• “Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?”
• “I didn’t lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.”
• “Constipated People Don’t Give A crap.”
• “Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.”

Source: http://www.goodquotes.com/ (except the last one)

http://www.thecatconnection.com/newsletter/nov03/nov03-cathumor_b.html

DOGS
http://www.sydneymate.com/store/picture-print-poster/funny-cute-animal/free-picture/Funny_dog2.jpg
http://www.chewonthismag.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10113/fluffy%20the%20destroyer.jpg
http://www.lotoflaughs.com/index_file/funny-pics/pics-save-me.jpg

CATS
http://www.thecatco.com/new_year.jpg
http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/usercreated/static/card_1925_r.jpg
http://www.funnypictures.ws/displayimage.php?album=4&pos=0
http://www.astro.soton.ac.uk/~jag/aris.jpg
http://frontier.dreamhost.com/fwsmile2.jpg
http://www.press-x.com/funny/images/pages/animals/animals11.asp

CATS & DOGS
http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/rockinghamremem-post-31.html

MOUSE
http://www.funnypictures.ws/albums/animals/mouseball.jpg

MONKEYS, CHIMPS & GORILLAS
http://www.real-voice.info/humor/pics/Funny%20monkey.jpg
http://www.funnybike.com/images/macacos.jpg
http://www.afghania.com/modules/My_eGallery/gallery/Fun/monkeyS.JPG

My fiancée showed me this one:

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks,

“Do you know her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” says the wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”