listen to my heart

Today my heart ached a little, for various reasons, but it was OK, I decided to let it, didn’t deny it. It reminded me of a few things. Of the grace, humility and humanity in fragility, and of my inner reserve of strength, which is deep and abiding.

I am grateful for my strong heart, however fragile it may sometimes be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0dMBqtGtOU

My head and body…....my soul, and my heart WANTED this badly. I was supposed to go on a hiking trip, a small section of the A.T., starting tomorrow, with a small group of friends and acquaintances. I have been wanting to do it alllll summer long and hadn’t been able to committ to it because of my work schedule. I had thought my work was scheduled thru a certain time period, alas, the schedule was…...interupted…..so, voila, I had the opportunity to say to these folks “YES!!!!!! I’LL GO!!” and have been so excited. I NEEDED THIS. Then I got a call. For help. For this weekend. My selfish self wants, needs to get away. But that mountain and those trails will be there a bit longer. The good news is I have already done it once, about 15 years ago, and while I was looking forward to it again, well, other opportunity will arise to redo it. My heart says that helping out right now (as I said I would if the need arose) is the right thing to do. It’s about community, and support, and friendship. Everybody who can, and is willing and able has offered to be part of this chain of healing. It’s a no brainer, I’d hardly say no.

The mountain will wait for me. I’ll still be on “walkabout” metaphorically, and in my heart though!! LOL! I am going to buy a peodemeter TODAY!!! I do enough plain ol’ walking about to justify the expense. :~D

“The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are.”
- Joseph Campbell

Follow your Bliss, he also said.
Wise man…..............

Today, my heart said: “My Dear, you need to take the day off, and sleep in…..”

So, I took a personal day today, called in to work and said I would not be coming in, then went back to bed. I was kept awake by noisy neighbors until nearly 5 a.m. this morning. Something that has been a frequent occurance all summer. Last night I called the police, and ended up yelling out my window…..to no avail, after the police left, and after I yelled, the partying resumed. These people simply do not care who they disturb or for how long. There are days I border on fatigue so extreme that thought patterns have trouble forming, my limbs ache, and nausea is a constant companion. I am not one who does well on too little sleep. It amazes me that I have kept up my work schedule of approximately 57 hours per week all summer in spite of it. And this is the only day I have taken off due to it, as previously I could not justify calling in because I was “tired”. Well, today I needed no such justification. My heart wanted to STAY HOME. And rest. So I listened to it. Because it’s often “wiser” than my head…............

Hand to my heart.
My red blooded, generous, loving, strong & warm heart.