Lately my life has seemed routine and I do a lot of repetitive tasks and routine work just to maintain my life and make a small amount of progress toward my goals.
It hit me this morning what this reminds me of. I played a video game once called Star Ocean ‘Till The End of Time.
At one point my small party rushed into this desolate world and fought these 6 winged angels called Proclaimers. They kept killing my little group almost immediately. I eventually realized that these creatures were way out of my league and I needed to make the members of my party stronger.
So I went to an amusement planet , a leisure place to lick my wounds and recover. And I did a lot of repetitive ,mundane tasks like fight smaller monsters and weaker enemies over and over and over, increase in health and experience over and over until my group was strong enough to kick Proclaimer butt.
My life is like that, I’m doing a lot of “workhorse”, mundane necessary stuff daily, over and over, and seeing gradual progress.
But I think I’m just slowly leveling up in preparation for more epic challenges and bigger adventures.
That’s why every time I have a small victory, I hum the victory fanfare from Final Fantasy, which always surprises people when I do it in public.
I read the quote “Don’t get depressed, get creative.” on some entrepreneur website. I think my intentions for today will center around that.
I’m angry and sad about the way my job has changed and how they are always coming up with innovative new ways to pay people less or give them fewer hours to work.
I have to be creative too and come up with various ways to make up the additional money that I no longer make at my regular job.
I had a cool little art business a few years ago that fell apart when my personal life started to go to hell. I miss it.
Recently I did a bunch of artwork to help a friend meet a deadline and even though I didn’t get much sleep because they needed it done in a hurry, it felt good to be drawing and creating again.
So today ,I will make something adorable and list it to sell on one of the arty/crafty sites. It probably won’t sell but it will “break the seal” and get me used to creating and selling again so I don’t remain frozen from fear.
Today I’m going to get back on a nocturnal schedule because the Florida summers are so brutally hot that I don’t get much work done during the day. I’m a night owl and have more energy during the wee hours of the morning, so I have to switch my sleeping schedule around again, so that I can get things done.
I was only waking up at 6AM because my daughter had school and that’s over, so it’s time for me to turn back into a vampire like I do every summer and avoid the sun. I enjoy being pale and productive.
I get a lot more things done at night. I’ve been that way since I was a teenager.
This morning I had a fever of 101.3 and a list of things I still have to get done today because I’m the adult in the house.
I made a feverish, babbling phone call to the phone company during which the agent said I sounded a little off.
I stood in the yard with the hose watering the plants in a kind of delirious, distracted way until my ex husband stopped by and asked me what I was doing.
I have wasted 3 days of my life being sick and I can’t even think straight. I feel like I’m underwater. This sucks.
My intention for today is to get something productive done and make a living and not let things fall apart.
My daughter has a bad cold and all those gnarly flu symptoms like fever, etc. I’m getting sick too but I still have to take care of my kid, and make a living. So today I had some coffee and aspirin and I’m still plugging along.
Today, I will work at my desk and watch Britcoms and British hidden camera prank shows to break up the monotony of typing. I’ll check on my child and make sure she takes her medicine at the correct times and eats well.
I’ll cut the weeds in the back yard that are getting a bit tall and make sure our hyperactive Jack Russell terrier eats.
(Well, he belongs to my relatives and he’s not mine to take when I move out, he stays with the house, but I still take care of the little guy for now.)
At some point, I’ll cook the 3 daily meals and tidy up the house.
I hate being sick. I wish I could fast forward time to when this cold clears up.
Today I’m going to work quietly at my desk while watching independent films.
I’m going to rake the yard and water the plants. The cool thing about moving to a rental in a couple of months is that I won’t have to deal with the leaves and the weeds and the yard. I like nature, I just don’t like raking, mowing and sweeping nature.
And I’m already distracted reading everyone’s wonderful entries on 43 Things, so I’m going to get back to work so I can pay for a new apartment.
Today I will not obsess over the bad news I got from my job about the policy changes, and I’ll try to be productive and not think about things I can’t control.
I also have to customize my new bank account so I can keep the money I’m saving for an apartment separate from the money I use to survive.
I seriously need to cheer up and pick my face up off the floor.
Being inconvenienced and subjected to stupid rule changes by employers is just a normal part of adult life.
Today, I’m going to put on my nature sounds videos on Youtube and be incredibly focused and work quietly and calmly at my desk so I can be super productive and start the week off on a good, solid footing.
I’m going to let the answering machine pick up the phone so a certain time vampire can’t suck up all of my time and talk my ear off.
My sanity and concentration depend on keeping negative people out of my way today.
Today , I will catch up on work ,because I’ve been behind for 2 weeks and the more behind I get, the angrier I get with myself.
Today I will also put some money into savings because that affects two other goals on my 43 Things list.
Instead of beating myself up , I just have to get back on track. A few off days isn’t the end of the world, but things have a way of snowballing if you let them go.
My intention for today Monday, March 12 is just to be productive.
I’m so mad at myself for just hanging out this weekend watching episodes I missed of The Walking Dead and indie films,and being easily distracted and lazy.
My kid’s birthday is later this week, so whatever this bad/sad/tired/lazy mood is, I need to snap out of it and get back to work so my daughter can get the birthday celebration she deserves.
I cannot f-ck this up, she’s counting on me