Stop being depressed

now this is the tough part for me. I find myself getting sucked back in every now and then and its not something that is easy to control. i just wake up in a bad mood and if i give into myself and start crying…it can go on for hours and hours. and i completely shut down as if i’m back to square one. i feel like i’m a leach on stuck myself, allowing my negative emotions control me. I’ll admit that its something i’ve done for so long its almost like a comfort zone (even though it is so painful to endure) and i’m the only person who can stop myself from back tracking.

My spirits are up now but i have to learn how to not go to that deep dark place when i start feeling sad. sadness happens, but that doesn’t meant i have t be depressed.

I’m no longer depressed everyday, i can’t allow myself to be. I have to be positive and continue to try and be upbeat though the tough times. Things are getting better and better for me. I still get down some days, but it doesn’t last as long as it used to- or weeks at a time! I’m on my way to getter things and feeling really good about it :)

I’ve just been gettin sader and sader. I don’t know when this will end, or if it ever will. Its been 3 months now. and every day its getting worse. I feel so hopeless, i feel like just giving up on life all together. I feel so awful…. =[

I dont know where the root of my sadness stems from. but i know thta its getting worse. I almost tryed to kill myself 2 weeks ago. I was hanging from my 6th floor apartment window, with 2 cuts on my arm, scaring thw shit out of all my negibors, and my boyfriend. but most of all myself.

i don’t wanna be sad anymore