secretly stop being negative and stop letting others opinions influence me

is more or less done; I don´t let others to influence me so much anymore, maybe just a little or those times when I am down I don´t react and don´t control that influence. With the other I am not doing right, It´s difficult to stop being negative after have been almost all my life…I need to change my habits in that, learn how to do so, Also because I realise the impact of my negativity upon those who are next to me, it´s not nice to be with a negative person, it can burn you.

Im not doing good in this goal today and my family itself is making me go crazy just because I cant say no to them…but in fact the real thing is that i cant say yes either, but they got me taken. Ill end up doing what they want me to do without me wanting it, ill feel bad about myself because of my poor strenght and my dad will be angry with me because of that yes. I know, difficult to understand if I dont write the stupid mess my aunt is taking me in.

i doint steps not to hear people so much when trey try to influence me and im really sure about what i want. Thas happened so often, i dont mind if people try to influence me when im not sure about things because i ussually like to hear their advices and then I choose by myself, but it really makes me feel bad when someone tries to make me change my opinion or take another decition when im sure of what i want.

Since i am so negative, sooo negative that i sometimes even surprise me. I somedays decide not to write anything in my diary or in here because it´s just the same shit once and once again; i think the only way of start changing that bad habit that is negativity by listing the possitive things that happen to me each day, isnt it? do you know any other way to vince negativity??

yES, this is a very hard thing to do when the “others” are people who you know love you, like your parents. Today they said that it´s stupid that i want to go back to Finland as i dont have anything or anyone in there; that is should stop dreaming about things like that. :// im upset, even if that is just a dream, i have all the right to dream that and feel the courage to try to get that dream, others dont know what i feel and they are not living my life. Ok, ok they are my parents but …my life is my life, and im the only one who is going to live it.