Don't look for love, beg for love, or suffer for love. Just live.

Once again I feel like a part of me has died. I realised this morning that I have lived a good portion of my life without anyone I’ve ever dated actually loving me and I am reminded of that saying ” the definition of lunacy is f you keep doing the same thing expecting different results.” I often fall in love – it is never reciprocated. I have come to the conclusion that my bad relationships are there because at least I can advise my friends to learn from my mistakes and that makes me feel useful. But I need to find a good hypnotherapist to get rid of my hopeful feelings. If they can stop people smoking this shouldn’t be too difficult.
Before anyone gets on here and tells me that a love life will come when I least expect it blah, blah, blah, I joined E-harmony this weekend and every match that was picked for me rejected me (and yes, I know I’ll laugh about this next week!)
I fear that whatever the Universe is trying to tell me I’m just not getting it and I hurt too much to do this anymore. No more dating for me, not that I get that many offers so hopefully (ha) I should be over this soon.
I guess I am just one of those people who is not supposed to have couply love in my life and I am now prepared to listen. If anyone asks me out again I shall remember to say, thank you very much but no thank you. I am learning…

prove me wrong!

“She was a smart girl until she fell in love…”

my words but they do show how much you can learn from having the right kind of men in your life… I really miss this one.

Most people’s hearts are in the wrong place.
You know when your heart is in the wrong place because it doesn’t feel right, it hurts, there’s confusion. That’s the language of the heart, it’s telling you “I’m in the wrong freekin’ place!”.
It’s an internal guidance system and people just don’t pay enough attention to it or they don’t take it seriously because they haven’t been taught that this is what it is. People are addicted to the pain of the heart being in the wrong place because they are used to it, probably from a very early age.
It’s like a drug with only occasional glimpses of fake happiness that’s created by the ego not the heart
When it’s in the right place then you will really know it. You’ll be really happy, not hurting.
If everyone REALLY listened to their hearts, their internal guidance system, then WOW what a beautiful world we would live in. We wouldn’t have top be in so much pain and be killing each other.”

I’m not that Girl – from Wicked

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I’m not that girl:

Don’t dream too far
Don’t lose sight of who you are
Don’t remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I’m not that girl

Ev’ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who’s winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That’s the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I’m not that girl:

Don’t wish, don’t start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn’t born for the rose and the pearl
There’s a girl I know
He loves her so
I’m not that girl

I may never get to see you as often as I’d like
I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night
But deep in my heart, I truly know
you’re the one that I love and
can’t ever let go

Bob:”Is there someone else?”
Kathleen: “No, but there is the dream of someone else.”

“People are always saying that change is a good thing but all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all has happened… the truth is, I am heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died… and no-one can ever make it right”

Joe: “It wasn’t personal…”
Kathleen: “What does that mean it wasn’t personal? All that means is that it wasn’t personal to you. Whatever else anything is it ought to begin with being personal.”

from the movie You’ve Got Mail”

I am no good at love
My heart should be wise and free
I kill the unfortunate golden goose
Whoever it may be
With over-articulate tenderness
And too much intensity

I am no good at love
I batter it out of shape
Suspicion tears at my sleepless mind
And, gibbering like an ape,
I lie alone in the endless dark
Knowing there’s no escape

I am no good at love
When my easy heart I yield
Wild words come tumbling from my mount
Which should have stayed concealed;
And my jealousy turns a bed of bliss
Into a battlefield

I am no good at love
I betray it with little sins
For I feel the misery of the end
In the moment it begins
And the bitterness of the last good-bye
Is the bitterness that wins

that I am supposed to help others. I have become something of an agony aunt amongst my friends who have better luck with relationships than I do.

Finally, my rotten relationships come in useful in helping them. I don’t think I’m meant to have relationships so I should stop.