I have never done this before. Probably because of being embaressed of the ACTUAL amount of weight I have to lose. I figure that if I write about it regularly, then I will be forced to remember to focus on weight loss and on being successful.
So I have never been “skinny”. Growing up I was always the “big girl”. I weighed 180 lbs before going to college. I thought I was fat then, but I look back at pictures and DREAM of having that body again. Im 5’9” and weigh 313 now. My goal is 150-ish. I’ve come to accept that I will never be “skinny” by Hollywood’s standards, simply because my body is not build that way. I am a woman in a man’s body structure. I just want to feel better, look better, and be able to buy clothes in ANY store.
I am a recent Mom. My daughter was born 17 months ago. My son was born 5 months ago. They are 12 months apart and keeping me BUSY all day (I am a stay at home mom). They are on somewhat similar schedules, but most of the day is still used for taking care of one or the other. We are still not done having children, so I know that weight loss may be interruppted by another pregnancy (hopefully not for a while:-))
I have been blessed with two beautiful children, a great husband and a supportive family. I had two relatively easy pregnancies with no complications. Except that unless you knew me (and knew I was pregnant), you just thought that I was a FAT woman holding her back and walking like a penguin. That’s what sucks. I want my next pregnancy to be the kind where my belly grows and people know Im pregnant.
My husband and I were on a recent vacation (without the kids) and as we were walking out of a nightclub, someone outside made the comment, “How did you fit through the door?” to me as I was leaving the club. I don’t think I will ever forget how hurtful those words were to me… or how much they made me realize that I needed to change.
In my mind, I am still a beautiful 26 year old girl with a nice life and normal problems. I dont think Im beautiful when I look in the mirror. I do think I have a nice face, but when was the last time you noticed someone for how beautiful their face was? I wish I was sexier. My husband thinks I am, but I can’t BE sexy if I don’t FEEL sexy. Plus, with a toddler and an infant, I am constantly on the go, doing SOMETHING. I want to have more energy for when my kids get older, so I can go slide with them down the slide at the park, or chase them around and play hide ‘n seek. I want to be healthy to be a great mom and watch my kids grow up.
I gained over 100 lbs over the last 8 years. As soon as I got to college and lived in a shoe box they call a dorm, I started to eat packaged “quick and easy” food. There was no time for healthy eating, nor was there any place to store fresh fruits, etc. I had a bar size fridge to share with my roomate. Plus, lack of exercise (was never big on this) made the pounds just stick to me. When I had my children, I LOST weight in the beginning and then gained back to my prepregnancy weight as the pregnancy ended. I actually weighed less being pregnant then non-pregnant, BOTH TIMES! But after you have a baby, its no longer just a weight issue. Its now an issue of regaining your body back. Your skin is loose, your muscles are weak, and you have less time then EVER to do anything about it.
In general, we lead a healthy lifestyle. I cook all food and we soup a lot. My downfalls are :snacking, snacking into the evening hours, and not exercising. And when I snack, its not healthy, most of the time. We drink fresh juice every morning (5 carrots, handful of spinach and 3 apples for my husband and myself). We take our vitamins and eat a nutritious dinner. If I can only stop the snacking between meals (something I picked up from being pregnant for 2 years in a row) and not eating after dinner (6pm), and get some sort of exercise, I think I can SLOWLY lose the weight.
I have no willpower. Well, maybe I have SOME, but its a small amount. Whenever I go on a health kick and walk for 1/2 hour and do some pilates, I feel GREAT. Even though I know its a small change and Id need to do it a lot more to see an effect, I feel fantastic for pushing myself to do this (instead of watching TV for example). I just wish I could keep it up.
So my goals are as follows:
1) Instead of snacking, drink water
2) If I must snack at night, snack healthy (a fruit)
3) Do pilates when kids have their morning nap. Walk with kids after their morning map for at least 1/2 hour. Do this 5 days a week.
Wish me luck:-)