express my feelings freely

So far in my life, the only person i feel comfortable expessing myself freely is with my therapist. But since its his job to help me out, it doesnt neccesarily count. We’ve talked about my inability to open up to people…and he has suggested that i join a group therapy, where i can talk freely with other people present, and i wouldnt be as apprehensive to spilling my thoughts out. I hope taht goes well, and i am able to transfer waht i do there to my actual daily life.

I’ve always kept my emotions and feelings inside. Its just too damn hard to make yourself that vulnerable. I know i shouldnt care what peopel think, and i tell myself that all the time. But deep down, i do care about how people judge me, especially my emotions/feelings because THEY ARE WHO I AM.

But then again, i shouldn’t define myself by certain feelings/ideas/thoughts because these are never constant and are always chainging, so i shouldnt be attached to them. I shouldnt be attached to any kind of idea of a definition of ME (that’s the buddhist in me coming out, forcing this digression).

This is something i definately need to work on a lot. I shouldn’t be so concious of how people will react to my thoughts/feelings. I’m important too! And thus, so are my thought and my feelings and my ideas.