Have an awesomely different life by this time next year

to live and work in DC. This happened sooner than I thought it might.

The very sad thing about it is that I won’t see my boys. I don’t see them now, living 8 miles from their home, so I guess it doesn’t matter much to them. I am so proud of the way they have turned out. Eric asked me tonight “when do you move to Washington permanently?” I said, Thanksgiving weekend.

The job I got is one to which I was recruited. I will retire from Big Blue (the best known, large computer company) after 32 year and change. It was a great run, and it positioned me to take this next job.

I’m happy, and sad.

I guess you could say I completed this. My goal was to “get off the dime” and “have an awesomely different life” by this time next year. Oct 2008 to Oct 2009 saw many changes, some out of my control, but some because I decided I’d had enough and it was time.

My job transferred to Chicago IL in June 2009. That is not awesome, but in a down economy to have a job at all is good. I’ve been with the same firm for 32 years or so, and my performance in the last assignment (in DC area) was less than what I had thought I’d be capable of doing. My new assignment in Chicago has me covering 5 commercial accounts in varying degrees of disaster. However, I’m actively engaged in most of them and I’m stretching my skillz and making progress toward getting better accounts with more fun things to do. I am still able to spend ten days a month in DC.

I had the Porsche painted. That was a major step. It looks shiny and new on the outside. Perhaps this seems trivial, but it is a symbol of the journey I’ve been on.

I told my sons that I’m unhappy being married to their mother, and that big changes were coming. I started telling them in April, and over the summer vacation, when they came to spend ten days with me in DC/VA/MD/DE I filled in more of the details of the future. By August I bought them a car. By September I moved to an apartment. By October I filed for divorce.

I’m trying to be civil and fair with their mother, the soon-to-be-ex-mrsbill (S2BXMB). I have even convinced my sister that I have stayed long enough to see the boys on their way, and that I’m not leaving S2BXMB penniless. I hope XMB will accept the settlement agreement to let her stay in the house for two years and then fund the kids’ college education with the sale of the house and division of assets, including retirement savings.

In any case, I won’t have that same knot in my stomach on thanksgiving day because I’m in a loveless relationship where I can do no right.

So, done. I do have an awesomely different life.

I asked a friend how she spent Thanksgiving.

I got a jumble of answers.

“volunteering for a soup kitchen” which, as it turns out, was closed.

Honestly, I don’t remember all the other answers, but I know this: I have a lot to be thankful for, and she should not sacrifice time with family for time with people she barely knows and who may not be around.

Perhaps a turkey sandwich after a family dinner is all I can hope for.

But, I’m a hopeful guy.

We’ll see.

I have applied to rent an apartment, and so by late September 2009, I will be living apart from mrsbill, and with some luck, having a family meal at my own place with my sons once or twice or five times a week.

This is a big step.

“your forms will be in your e-mail tomorrow.”

Glad I called. It has been three weeks.

I get to review and revise them, and then I’ll be ready to file at a time and place of my choosing.

than Thanksgiving 2008.

(this is the “Thanksgiving Boar” serving dish my mother gave me. I’m taking it)