Have a closer walk with Christ

At least it shouldn’t be, to a christian. The bible says the just shall live by faith. the just are those who are redeemed, in essence, christians.

Further faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. That’s how I’m supposed to live.

There are times that I am like the children of israel, looking at the circumstance (the reality) and wanting to go back to Egypt. I look at the situation, the bills that are due, not having the extra spending money that I’d like, or simply having to wait to make purchases I would normally have been able to buy on impulse.

That is when I get distracted from my studies. That is when I start submitting my resume. That is when I go into this cycle of frustration becsuse no one will hire me. I KNOW that God’s will is for me to finish school and go to law school. I am not going to get a job until He is ready for me to. I earnestly prayed for God to open and close the necessary doors for His will to be done in my life. I trust that He is honoring my prayer. I know further that the manna that takes care of us, takes very good care of us. I have to learn to stop being greedy and wanting seconds, with an impatience that will not allow me to have patience. I realize that I am supposed to rejoice when I fall into diverse temptations; “count it all joy”. Of course that is easier said than done. That is my cross. It’s time for me to re-read the book of James.

I am having a hard time reconciling with the fact that all things are working together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His purpose.

My 15 year old is making some very bad, very grown up decisions, for which there are very grown up consequnces. I’ve got a thousand and two questions running through my head….What did I do? What didn’t I do? Did I, in trying to protect him, buffer his perception of reality? Is he on drugs? Why Lord??? WHY is my baby deciding to follow his friends instead of his family? Doesn’t he know that I know what’s best for him??? My heart is split in two. I can’t stop crying. I know I’ve gotta be stronger than this, but knowing aint doing. Do I call the police? He hasn’t been home in two days, and he called last night to say he needs a “couple of weeks”. What the HELL is he thinking??? I don’t want to see him on the news! I need prayer. I need strength. I need to go back in time and have a do-over to try to fix whatever’s broken in my child’s heart or head. Okay. First things first. I think I WILL call the police, make te report, and PRAY. HARD.

My random verse for today was Psalm 32:8, which says: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.”

I want growth in Christ, but that I truly want can only be expressed as what my mother refers to as “A closer Walk”, or what I see as actually depth. I need to know His ways and His word as much as, or better that I know Eashia’s, or Toni’s, women I’ve known just about all my life, not quite as long as I’ve been saved (mother took care of that in the 4th grade). I could look at any given situation and tell you what either of these women would be thinking. We’ve (especially Toni and I) developed a system of eye communication, and got it down to a science so down pat, that we could have an entire argument in front of someone, about that person, and not say a word. (this came in handy in the clubs, if I like a guy but she didn’t, or vice versa). This only scratches the surface of the type of relationship I’d like to have with the Lord. Something so deep and developed, that even when it feels like he’s as far away as Atlanta or Miami from wherever I am, I know, automatically, based upon the nature of the relationship, what is expected of me.

2 Peter 3:8-9
“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

In today’s GDWM devotion, Steve speaks about his own personal struggles for deliverance for a family member, and he referenced the above scripture, which so fits those days when I lose it because I want time to “hurry up” and whatever God has for me, I want to have it so that I can get on with my life, so to speak. I have to remember that God’s timing is his own, and that all things are working together for my good.

I was half-asleep this morning and George Davis’ ministry, “Born to Win”, came on the television. He opened with 2 Timothy 3:1, speaking about the state of the world today, the hardness of the people’s hearts, and the need for a spiritual revival. It started me thinking about my own personal wilderness situation, and I realized that he was actually right. It’s harder to see God these days because we’re (I’m) so caught up in looking for the big “breakthrough” miracle, that I’ve taken for granted all of the other ones. His grace and mercy, that has spared me and my children from the pain of an abusive marriage. The fact that I’ve been unemployed since August, yet we eat everyday and all of our bills are paid, with the luxury of two cell phones, dinner out every once in a while, and I’m blessed to go to school to further my career. Add to that, my children are finally eligible for Medicaid, which I could not afford health insurance, even making $40k, and they are now both getting some pretty expensive dental work done, for free. In fact, when I look around, I can see that I’m actually in a better position now than when I was working. That is he result of a series of God’s keeping me and carrying me; His grace and mercy; not to mention, forgiveness, which got me to thanking and praising Him.

“Just plain old unbelief”....that’s what my mother’s gonna say when I tell her about yet another foiled attempt to inject my own will into God’s plan for my life. I haven’t told her yet, but I’ll write about it. After my vow to refuse any other interviews and focus on school, I got a call on Friday for yet another one. Instead of keeping my word to God and my family, I agreed to meet with her in order to (again) leave no stone unturned. That’s how I rationalized my disobedience. I prayed for God’s will to be done, and got all gussied up (pulled out the “big guns” professionally speaking), and when I got there, my interviewer was detained in a meeting at another law firm, deeply apologetic, and would call me to reschedule. Now, imagine how stupid I would have felt if I’d skipped class to go to THIS interview!!! Lord, have mercy on me! I’ve been requested (strongly) to remove my resume from the online job bank, and not take anymore interviews. This time I’m listning. I don’t want to be like the children of israel, wandering in the wilderness as a result of my own actions. I’m gonna sign off now. I’ve got a term paper to revise, and some studying to do!

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”Psalm 37:3-5

What a concept! Perhaps I really DO want to work. Hmmm…..I love the idea of furthering my career, and I really do like learning, but part of me feels almost useless. I desire to feel useful! LOL

Another thought: Exodus 33:14 “The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
I’m taking this one to the varying job interviews (and school!) with me!

This comes to my email, so I can’t post a link:

We often consider our need to be set free from the deceptive entanglements of the world. Whether this means the sinful temptations of the flesh, the misguided priorities of selfish ambition, or simply the vast number of trivial activities which consume our time, they all hinder our intimacy with God.

These “hindrances” of the world keep many unbelievers from knowing Jesus and coming to a saving faith in His sacrifice for the forgiveness of sin. They also keep many believers from walking closer with God and glorifying His name. It’s no wonder Jesus says, in the strongest terms, that we must crucify the things of the flesh; “If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). Following Christ means to be “crucified with Christ” (Galatians 2:20) – a full and complete death of ALL which would pull us away!

But praise God this is not the end of the story. We are not simply called to the glum and dreary dead life so many Christians seem to be living – the life removed from the entanglements of the world but also removed from any and all form of joy. No, we have been called to much more; we have been called to a glorious new birth! We die so we can live in Christ and give Him full control to work in and through our life.

1 Peter 1:3
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

Jesus came for the single purpose of dying on a cross for the forgiveness of our sin. But Jesus was not just crucified and buried…He rose!! His resurrection was God’s declaration to the world that Jesus was His Son (Romans 1:4); and it confirmed, with absolute assurance, the complete victory over sin and death. This life of crucifixion and victorious resurrection is the full life to which we have been invited.

We have unquestionably been called to take up our cross and follow Jesus up the hill to die. We must put to death our sinful desires as well as all selfish dreams and ambitions. But we must never remain locked inside a dark and lonely tomb. Though it is often a painful process (Jesus experienced GREAT pain in His death) we must persevere through death to be resurrected into a living hope in Christ; “He is not here; He has risen, just as He said” (Matthew 28:6). We must truly rise and be born again.

Let’s begin to walk as a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17), and declare to the world through our joy and peace that we are a child of God. Let’s arise with new desires and dreams – those formed in our heart by a loving and gracious Father – and live by the guiding power of His Spirit. Let’s praise Him all of our days as we joyfully live the resurrected life.

Have a Christ Centered Day!

Steve Troxel
God’s Daily Word Ministries

Today Random Verse (courtesy of GDWM.ORG)

Isaiah 1:19-20
“If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

If that aint me! WHEW! I think I drove myself and everyone else NUTS stressing over the work/not-work/school issue. I’ve let it go, and resigned myself to being a student, because it occured to me that no one will hire me if they cannot afford to, and there “ain’t” a whole heck of a lot I can do to change that. So I dove headfirst into college, with my eyes set on law school in the hrizon, and in reading the above random (yet perfectly hand-picked for moi) verse, I see that as an unemployed student, my life is the best right now than I can remember. I never had any extra spending money when I was busting my butt working, AND all of my bills are paid(ON TIME thank you Jesus), and we eat pretty dang good, (I’m going on a DIET!), and the most important is that I am no longer above the income bracket wherein my kids can get low cost (free, now) health insurance, which I could not afford, and most law firms dont cover families. As soon as I sign off here, I’m picking up my kids and taking them to the dentist, something I could not afford when I was working, and had only done when they had a toothache. Same goes for vision, and while I’m at it, I’ll schedule a check-up or two, just to make sure things are going as well as they should. I can do this now, without worrying about the costs. Also, if I were working right now, I woudn’t HAVE THE TIME TO TAKE THEM! GOD IS GOOD! AND HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!

I thank God for GDWM! This morning’s devotion was so profound, that when I read it, I was like, he’s talking to ME! Little did I know that when I got to school this morning, I would be tested (ALREADY) on the principles discussed in the devotion! I thank God for his wisdom, as He knew what to do in order to ensure that I got the necessary spiritual “vitamins” to keep me from having a breakdown in school today. Thank you Lord, for your Wisdom; I do, put it in Your very capable hands, and I am prepared to do whatever it is that You would have me to do.