Prove them wrong

and it’s somehow weird to read what my old self used to think and how life used to be back then.
I feel relieved that now I am so much better,I feel so much better in my own skin and my thought aren’t as negative and complicated as they used to.
Life had failed me sometime,the people in my life have failed me and I thought I would never recover.But here I am,breathing,trying and living,still.And it is a powerful thing to know that no matter what hardships life brings to you,you will make it.
So yeah,in a week,I’m going to Thessaloniki with my mother to buy furniture for my new apartment and I couldn’t be more excited!
It’ll be great choosing and matching colors and pieces of furniture to create a warm and cozy home.
Things turned out pretty great so far and I’m thankful.
I love my new apartment and the neighborhood,I love the fact that my best friend is going to the university in Thessaloniki aswell,thus we will have each other.I love that my sister will be around,so I won’t be feeling alone and it’s a great way to really get to know my sister and my other siblings.
So yeah,I guess I am happy.:)

So,today,after over a month of torturing waiting,I got the results of my finals and turns out I’ll be leaving for College in about 4 months.I’ll be moving to a beautiful city,Thessaloniki and I’m going to rent an apartment with my sister,but she won’t be around much.
I’m happy and feel so much more confident now that I know what I’m going to do next in my life.Feels like I’ve got a purpose,a goal finally.
In a few months,I’ll be crossing this one off from my new apartment. ::does the happy dance::

Yep, I think I’m almost done with this goal!
And I feel really good about myself.

I’ve almost forgotten about this goal,but I guess it happened by itself in the end and I learned a lot in the process.
Now,I feel more positive,more happy.I think I’m growing up,I’m becoming more mature day after day and it feels good to know you can stand on your own two feet and embrace life.
I’m helping my mother out everyday for about 5-6 hours (she has a little shop and my brother and I work there),I’ve passed my exams and in a few months I’ll be moving out but most importantly, I realized that I don’t really care about what other people think of the way I’ve lived my life so far or it they had judged me in the past for little mistakes I have made as a teenager.It was myself I wanted to please and impress afterall and I’m almost there.

There are some days,I’m sure everyone has or had sometime in their lives.
Days like this;I’m feeling worthless,angry,whiny,like I have no purpose in life,like I can’t make my dreams come true.
And I hate my pessimistic self,truly.
Perhaps it’s the cold,rainy weather,perhaps it’s just me getting mad at myself for not trying a little harder and for lashing out my anger at others.
I feel lost,again.
I just need a break,some me time and happy,positive thoughts.

I’m moving out,i’ll be living with my brother in the city he studies in.I know,living with your brother can be very frustrating,but thank Gods i get along great with him(other that the fact he is untidy and i’m a control freak).I’m gonna get a job,start my keyboard lessons,go to college,make friends and all that jazz,hopefully.
My paranoia tells me that i won’t make it,i won’t make my dreams come true,but i tell her to go funk herself she’s an abusive bitch!:P
I know that sometimes things don’t turn out the way you expect them,but i’ll work my ass off to achieve something that’s completely mine for once,achieve something great with my own effort and sweat.
Isn’t it sweeter when you buy a pair of shoes and you know YOU paid for them with YOUR money,for wich you worked hard to get?It’s sweeter than buying shit with your parents money.
I long to feel exhausted and happy at the same time,to feel my feet shore and tired from working and being busy.Being busy,ah,i crave for that little sentence to come out of my own lips and mean it.Ok sweetheart,don’t get over excited.You’ll make it,you will,trust in yourself.Afterall,that’s all we all got forever,ourselves.

...i wanna prove MYSELF wrong more than i want to prove others wrong.
i WANNA DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE.Prove that i’m not lazy and that i’m capable of doing something with all that was given to me.
Stop sitting on my ass all day.Get a job,go to college,get a life in short.Start making my dreams come true,learn to play the keyboard,lose weight and stop smoking for good,help my mother as much as i can with house cleaning,wash the dishes without complaining,stop wasting my money on cosmetics and packs of smokes,save money for something more useful.
Prove that i’m not completely useless and unworthy.