be a good friend

I cannot believe my motivation, but during the busiest week of my LIFE, I made time to check out a wedding venue and have one meeting with my friend.

I haven’t made every call back…

Instead of avoiding the situation because of stress, I simply explained what was going on in my life, and that I GENUINELY wanted to help, with specific free times.

I was proud, thinking that if she really was my friend, why wouldn’t she understand?

Friends in the past have NOT understood me – they couldn’t understand what it meant to have children, go through a divorce, be in medical school, run businesses, have chronic pain, etc.

I guess people do grow up and start to get it, or, at least mature, sometimes!

I am HONORED to be in her wedding (it is HUGE!!), and to be her right-hand woman in planning!!

I always wanted to do this – I don’t have many female friends, and this is definitely something I have always wanted to do to feel closer to women and being a woman, in general.

Let’s just say I have some mother issues.

Anyway… yaay!!!

I took time out of my crazy, all over the place day, to literally schedule in time to critically evaluate a friend’s music. This is a new friend – one I’m pretty sure will stick around for awhile, though. I made a great connection – we had an understanding. How wonderful it must feel to have another “get” your work. And appreciate it!

I am reminding my friends to breathe a lot.

I am making more social time.

I decided to make a song for my friend’s birthday with a mutual friend. If all else fails… poetry!!

Part of being a good friend would be sharing with my good friends everything going on, especially in my love life. That is still hard for me.

I am grateful for all the new friends I made this year.

I emailed a girl who came over on Friday with other friends.

I am going to call a friend I haven’t spoken to in a couple of years, who is really into taking care of her body and animal rights, and herbs.

I answered the phone when a friend called tonight – that’s how I found out I might be getting this car a friend’s friend has to quickly sell!!!

Now – can I make this one guy my friend?

I think that would be a good thing.

My entire life, I have gone in and out of being available. I think many of my friends thought I was being flaky. Especially when I had children, people who didn’t didn’t understand what it takes to be a parent.

I have also had anxiety problems. I lost my insurance, and it is hard for me to get my medication. I will be so anxious that I cannot pick up the phone. Texting is better, though. Email, too. This is hard to explain to people because they think it is just an excuse, but it really is a physical problem that goes away when I have medicine.

It’s hard being in a public position… I am successful in the outside world, and I have sabotaged even more opportunities because of this.

Anyway, this has greatly affected my friendships. People have thought me to be a very selfish person. The truth is, I would fight to the death for some of my friends.

In the past couple of months, I have been a better communicator. I have been listening more to my friends. I have been in touch with them – even though I also don’t have a car and live far away!

I am proud of myself for staying in touch with my tribe – friends I know I will have for life – and for supporting them, lately.

Today, I talked to my friend states away, and I know I was able to comfort him.

I always used to put friendships on the back burner because I was so into my love relationships. That was a grave mistake. As I am getting older and wiser, I see this. It seems simple, but it is slow to work out of a habit.

Being in medical school takes a lot of time, too. I’m on leave now, because of my divorce, but many friends don’t understand the time that takes. But I must always remember to nurture them. Not in a way that would burn myself out, either.

That leads me to another thing – I need to nurture myself so I have more to give my friends. Many of my goals on here are related to that.

My phone is charged. I answered a call, today.