keep secrets

Basically, I’m getting better at asking people to reconsider divulging private information to me. Hey, it’s a start! And I have been keeping secrets for longer these days. But, they still end up being told, eventually.

I’m still working on this one. I’ve started telling people not to tell me secrets if I really do have to keep them. I have a 17yr old cousin who constantly says “You have to swear you won’t tell my mom”. Well her Mom and I are good friends. So now I tell her not to tell me if she really doesn’t want me to say anything. It’s less stressful that way.

I’m getting better at this. There have been several occasions when I was tempted to blab blab blab. But, I didn’t. Yea for me! I really have been making a conscious effort. Of course it’s absolutely no fun.

I don’t know why I find this so amusing. But, it must be known that I absolutely can not, will not keep anything to my self. I blab other peoples shit as well as my own on an hourly basis. I think I have a problem. Basically I just like to talk. ALOT. And so I talk about other people’s lives after I’ve exhausted my own. Maybe I should start watching television and then I can talk about sitcoms instead of divulging people’s secrets. But, reality is so much more interesting. And insane. Today, I have been discussing the eviction notice that one of my friend’s got yesterday. Come on! Thats interesting information. A little embarrassing but very worthy of conversation. Gossip. I gossip alot. Most people don’t expect it from me. Most people think I just do it with them. Nope, I tell everyone everything. Then I got mad because a freind of mine told my co worker that I was a queer atheist. And I really don’t think they needed to know all of that. But, given my actions, I can only laugh. I really am working on this. I’m more concious of it now and I feel really guilty when I do it.

I wasn’t supposed to tell my co workers that my company lost it’s contract so I won’t be employed there after Dec 31st. I accidently told just about everyone in my office and even some people in the next office. I have to laugh at my self for this. It doesn’t hurt anyone but me.

and I feel really guilty. I’ve told some secrets I really shouldn’t have told. I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. But, I can’t keep my own secrets, either. Apparently there is nothing sacred to me and I hate that because, while people know I can’t keep one, they assume I can about really big, important stuff. I know I am betraying them and they would absolutely kill me if they knew. I don’t do it to be mean. I just feel compelled to share every little bit of information that comes into my brain.