overcome depression

... I want to put it aside for now – just by not thinking of it, maybe it can remove the depression hat off me.

Holidays are so rough… I got more depressed than before. Right now I am sitting here and thinking about what life is for. What if life gets so boring all the time?? How can I cope with it? Can I take it?

don’t i wish life is just happiness – without anxiety, without depression, without fear, without perfectionism?

this question by itself is a form of perfectionism, unfortunately… i have been trapped badly and i had gone NONE instead of ALL in the past 72 hours. i had been sleeping, eating, watching tv shows etc… doing everything else but anything useful or productive.

i even started smoking – i really went pretty far to try to wake myself up and find stimulations

I found a great video clip talking about how regular exercise can help to battle depression. I would like to share with you and be sure to check it out -

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8G19oeJD8Nc

i heard some noise first and looked around… then i realized that it is raining outside. sometimes i felt very blue for the raining day. today is not quite. maybe it’s because that i got up early? anyways, yesterday wasn’t pretty… yet today is another day. not sure it’s going to be good or bad but i am still here writing this post – so i am still hoping the best!

i took a friend’s advice and did something nice before i go to bed. i took a nice shower just now and clean up my table a bit for tomorrow. i also put away things left in the kitchen. now i can go to sleep and read the catalog from New York Institute of Photography. tomorrow is a new day. when i wake up, the sun is shining and the bird is chirping. it will be a beautiful day.

haven’t done anything for the whole night… felt anxious and restless. still haven’t started to watch the class videos. looks like i am better off go to bed. maybe there is something in the air…

after a full day of classes, i became very tired, easily distracted, and anxious… i just finished a whole bag of popcorn and didn’t eat much for dinner. i didn’t know what i did in the last two hours but the time was just gone….

i still have two huge goals for today… maybe it is the HUGE tasks intimidated me… but tomorrow they are both due. just have to do them ASAP! today looks like a bit of a down turn regarding my energy level and my emotions… i hope i can get over this temporary obstacle and continue to be positive

i wonder if anybody knows how to be productive when being tired?

better diet, concert, support, 43 things, setting reasonable goals, getting up early, clean room, candle, more water and tea, walking outside, flowers…. all these helped me to keep my depression under control!!

today while i was listening to the music, i realized that i didn’t need to be the person i was trying so hard to be. i could just be myself – i don’t need to worry too much about public speaking, about portraying confidence, about showing enthusiasm…. i am just me… there is so many other things in this world that i could associate with and could find joy from.

i think i will try to attend concert, performances, and art show once in a while – the often the better. i really really enjoy these things and i think they wakes up my soul – my deeply hidden soul and bring me to the surface to breathe.