not take things so personally

Do I sense some progress or is it just that because I’m currently hiding in my small corner of the world, the office, I don’t maneuver myself into too many situations that make me go, why me?

I may indeed have developed some thicker skin. Convinced myself that some people (employers, especially) will act weird in certain situations and that it’s really got nothing to do with me. And maybe there’s only so much I can take, having experienced real growing pains this year. I have to do what I have to do, be unapologetically me, not worry so much and, most importantly, not let myself be stopped and give in to self-doubt because I think that someone’s got a problem with me.

Where was I when all these people became friends? Busy being self-centered? But where can I allow myself to be, if not there?

And while I don’t want my space invaded by others I still take it personally when they leave. Trying to ignore it. Because the truth is… it’s got nothing to do with me.

Don’t take it personally; it’s got nothing to do with you. But carelessness never comes naturally, it always takes an effort. People seated close to me in the library stand up to go after a suspiciously short amount of time? My typing must be too noisy, that’s why. Or are they headed for lunch? They must be headed for lunch, I tell myself. I walk around and think as if I lived in a hostile world and it takes its toll on my energy, when in fact completely insignificant moments such as this should not bother me even for a nanosecond. It is NOT GOOD. It’s not a way to live. I’ve realized a long time ago there’s a need for more confidence (I’m in cognitive behavioral therapy, too), but until that kicks in, what can I do but practice, practice, practice.