not read while eating

Fail, fail, fail. This is actually the goal I’m least serious about – how stupid is that! Why have it up here if I don’t intend to do it? But what do people do when they have dinner or lunch by themselves? Stare into space? Watch other people? Plan a kitchen design makeover? Wow, this pesto is yummy? I don’t get it… And I want to read, so much.

I don’t know. I ALWAYS like my food and it doesn’t get tastier than it already is just because I supposedly pay more attention to it when I don’t read. In fact, when I don’t read, my mind wanders around more, I get a little broody and I probably even focus less on what’s on the dinner plate!

Do I eat less when I don’t read? Can’t tell as I haven’t done that lately – stuck to one bowl of muesli and not many. However, I’ll always be the one who wants the whole pizza, and not reading won’t change that. Or will it? Gotta keep trying and look for surprising revelations.

Do I eat in order to have an EXCUSE to read? ‘cause I’m such busy busy bee at all other times (except the times when I “get lost in the internet”)?

I suspect that, as much as I love food, eating might bore me when I don’t get to read at the same time… ‘cause that’s what my brain tells me right now. What, you wanna eat and not grab a newspaper or book or magazine? How boring.

I can’t believe my mum would let me do that. Seems totally crazy, especially for someone who was a kindergärtnerin. Maybe it was just for a few days or weeks that I was allowed to bring a book to the lunch table, I don’t remember that, but I remember distinctly that she told me to stop only after this topic had come up in one of her conversations with other mothers, who told her: no way. I guess she was proud to have a daughter who was such an avid reader and maybe that explains it.

Nowadays there are always either books to read or people to converse with. I know it will do me good to focus on my food, perhaps help me to eat less… I promised my therapist to try this, too. I need to get out of my comfort zone.