Weekly list 10 things that made me happy, proud, or grateful, or that generally made life worth living

Haven’t written here in a while and will take my entries someplace else in the new year. 12/28/2011 – I’m grateful, at the end of this year, for love. My boyfriend’s love, my closest friend’s, my mother’s, and if this were a list I’d care to write, it surely wouldn’t end here. I’m equally thankful to be provided the opportunity to love – especially those mentioned beforehand, but also many others, people, things, that bring joy to my life and help to armour me against depression. Grateful, more than anything, for having desires, for allowing myself to have hope. Desire, perhaps the opposite of depression, and the prerequisite for bringing to life the Serenity Prayer which I used to have on my list of 43 things as a reminder of what’s possible and what isn’t. I don’t pray, ever, and I finally decided to remove this “goal” today, but I continue to be thankful for every instance in the past year which honored this wish, or, more adequately, this hope: the hope “to be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference”. And last but not least, I am thankful for the external factors that allow me the freedom to pursue the things I wish to pursue. The lucky circumstances of my life, including my own health and the health of others.

- that it’s been a week
- and WHAT a week
- T.
- phone conversation with my brother
- glad that my mum has such fun times (choir trip to Sweden!)
- to be the/a recipient of B.’s emails
- super-healthy foods all of the time!
- nice things in my life – summer dresses, a good apartment, the “green jungle” in front of my window
- colleague managed to fix laptop’s kensington slot
- some, if few, good moments of concentration @library

- sun in Gemini – I swear I can feel it (make-believe, I know… But why not?)
- grateful for friend who took the time to look at glasses with me
- dinner at my place with my aunt!
- a text message out of the blue, “I miss you”
- interesting things to think about <- the thesis on EL&IC
- awake without alarm clock & extremely early each day of the week!
- my first early morning run in ages
- a colleague wo likes me
- wishful thinking….
- someone to love, who loves me too.

- Summer without men by Siri, as T. calls her
- day-dreams, sometimes good in order to find out what one wants…
- trust; and change
- things to look forward to
- shifts in the dynamic between self and boss – it’s strange, it’s not nice or good or anything, but at least I can feel that I have some kind of influence/power
- ordering the new bike (a decision!)
- the realization that it’s so much more interesting to read a paper, to develop or follow thoughts, than to lose myself online on certain gossip pages (you’d think that I know that, but apparently…)
- new pair of shoes (sandals); turqoise summer shorts
- MONDAY
- good skype conversations

- (almost) everything falling into place this weekend….
- making love… and all that.
- really making the most of Berlin, esp. Kreuzberg, this weekend!
- better at running… on my own and:
- better at running for a longer time / distance (Treptower Park)
- a higher level of tolerance for some friends’ slightly annoying behavior
- yummy food, fine wine
- a play, Der Heiler with an amazing J. Gudzuhn
- finally the chance to watch United States of Tara on TV and it’s amazing!
- optimism

- talked about further extension of therapy sessions
- quite a lot of laughter during therapy session – not the most productive, but!
- weird, unexplicable behavior of my boss regarding me – comes too late, but nice for a change
- good food….
- conversation with my gynecologist
- a better run on Thursday
- the perfect new sea-blue cardigan
- nice night out with friend
- amazing journalism in the New York Times, again,with the article on AF 447
- coming back around to important goals/objectives… belatedly, slowly, but eventually

- a day at the seaside with two people I love
- new book presents (for Easter)
- Saturday afternoon breakfast in my/our “kiez”
- a great enough birthday party
- touched / amused by M.’s behavior
- being together
- makin’ whoopee
- the company car for shopping at IKEA
- feeling normal for a change… :-o
- driving at night and Radiohead came on! back to Boston 1997!

- another smooth flight
- Paris, Paris… with my mum!
- to be able to be of help on Sunday
- the perfect new “love at first sight” summer dress (that other people like, too)
- relatedly, some pictures in which my legs actually look okay (thereby making it easier to deal with the other pictures)
- ... and pictures in which to like myself a great deal AND, even better, that testify to the photographer’s engagement with his subject
- at least, one good hour with my brother (eating ice-cream)
- a new book (Apples & Oranges)
- that at least one of my bosses… makes sense.
- the ability to make choices

- regular library days, sticking to routines
- detecting progress with exam topics and preparation
- so I ovulate…
- this morning in the library, I “found” that guy, who had been sitting in my vicinity for a summer and more, writing about identity politics, I think… we were all uprooted when construction began, and just when I think that I want a goal for this, in order to find out in what part of the library he’s taken to, there he is. Miraculously.
- I can run faster and longer! Wow.
- no major crisis when faced with prospect of encountering K.
- funny/weird evening with M.
- good / excellent hair days
- as it was just this past week: that I did not panic on the flight back in spite of turbulences, and that I was rewarded with such a beautiful sight and a moment of peace
- a visit to look forward to and no major heartache this week

- I climbed my first real mountain!
- meeting s.o. who’s different from all these players & performers…
- smooth sailings // flights
- a facial (and my amazing eyebrows)
- running
- the occasional (more often than not) “Swissness” of Switzerland (cowbells)
- nature
- Uncommon arrangements: seven portraits of married life in London literary circles 1910-1939 by Katie Roiphe
- that I can read my newspaper, even though the NYTimes continues to brush me off
- when love is easy