be as brave as everyone thinks I am

My mom wrote me a letter a few years ago for a retreat and I recently found it and was so embaressed reading it. I felt like the biggest FAKE.
She wrote to me that she envies me and that she wishes she could be as brave and outgoing as I am. That she respects and admires me for doing my own thing and not caring what people think of me.

But she’s so wrong.

I care so much about how I am perceived that sometimes I am paralyzed with self-doubt and self-loathing.

I think I once was that person, but not anymore.

I want to be the person she once admired.