Go to Mars

With knowing hesitation, I went ahead and asked Barklin, “What’s wrong with the pool?”

“Forgot to reorder the chlorine tabs, we’ll have to VR simulate today”, Barklin barked back.

“Damn it, Barklin, I knew it! I was in that stock room just the other day and saw only two tabs left on that second shelf. You know the AC is hosed in the VR lab, and I’m not sweating in there by myself,” I replied.

We kept the pool extra-chlorinated since the solar panel array leaked during a routine underwater simulation to patch a 65 watt panel. I don’t mind VR, some sims are dead on the underwater procedures, but something like what was scheduled for today, the orbital escape chute, needed a resistance that a single earth atmosphere in a hot room couldn’t provide.

Of course Jim has to dispute the 15 pound limit on personal items we can bring aboard the shuttle.

“We’re ferrying 200 jumbo-gene rats at 2 pounds a piece, what’s wrong with a few canisters of soda syrup?”

“I mean, 200 rats!” Jim continued.

“How ‘bout you lose the fifteen, then you can bring 15 pounds of Coke syrup or whatever else it is you think’ll last you next 48 months.” said Barklin, one of the mission specialists.

Damn it, Barklin, why can’t you just give a little back? Now Jim is going to be pouting all through the simulator this afternoon.

Maybe I will have to tell Jim about my plan to derive caramelized fructose syrup from the tails of these rats taking up his precious carbo space. We’re feeding half of them a high-density Splenda fruit cocktail, enough to coat their back ends with a tooth fairy’s nightmare. They’re also a reliable protein source in case there’s a bad solar storm and we can’t reanimate the dairy cows when we land.

Can you believe it – several years of training and financing are finally culminating in the launch in two weeks. I’m so nervous making all these preparations for my departure. I even gave away my coffee pot because the caffeine just added to my pre-launch jitters! I was told there will be a french press on the shuttle and a few pounds of beans. I’m thinking about getting some seeds to grow beans along the journey, and they should do well in the acidic soil.

Finally, today is our “Emergency Re-Entry Protocol Briefing”. Jimmy said it shouldn’t take but two hours to review procedures and the radio codes if we get caught behind the moon during an oceanic descent.