be a better person

I am getting somewhere with this. I feel much better about myself now than I did before. I have commited myself to donating blood regularly and helping people out whenever possible.

I am starting this in small steps. I am working full time and going to school full time and on top of that my family is constantly on my back and my car has been dead for 2 months now yadda yadda. I find that I am tired all the time and end up snapping at people when I didn’t mean to, or being short with them. Also being too judgemental and a host of other bad qualities. I know these things need to change. I have found in a lot of situations that I will judge someone and somehow end up having to talk to them or sit next to them at work or some other unexpected aquaintance and I find myself liking the person. I need to stop judging so early on and so harshly as I know I have been wrong SEVERAL times. Since I have been down here (North Carolina) I have been going through a lot of things. Most scary, finding out I have cancer. I was never a religious person, always skeptical but I have found myself turning to religion more often than I would have thought to get my through the days. I finally found a preacher that I like to listen to and seem to be finding my spiritual connection. I am very happy that I have taken this turn for the better. I am sure with God I can get through anything. Before I moved I volunteered once and a while but I have since found a wonderful boyfriend that is a really great person. We have been volunteering together a bit lately. It’s a great feeling. Just at the beginning of December we volunteered for the 25th Annual Smoky Mountain Toy Run. It was such a humbling experience. All of these bikers, mostly on harleys come riding in with all sorts of gifts on their bikes. There was a big turnout which is sure to give many kids a merry Christmas they would not have had otherwise. I guess what I am working on at the moment is not being so selfish. I value my free time so much (as I have very little that I want to use it all for myself how I’d like to. I’d like to help my mom and others out as much as I can to help lighten the load.