be more assertive

I was assertive today. We were planning a group project and I didn’t let anyone step all over me. I made suggestions, asked questions, and when there was a disagreement I asked for a vote. I was heard and had an influence on the decision making. I wasn’t afraid of anyone.

I’m not as afraid to speak up as I used to be. Some of this is because I have gotten so good with my other goal of countering negative thoughts with positive ones. Now I don’t automatically think that there will be some horribe consequence if I speak up or decide to do what I want. I am less afraid to ask questions, speak in public, or state my opinions. I feel much more confident every day :)

Remember that prof who flipped out on me when I was assertive? Well I spoke to another student who dropped the class. She said she didn’t like him and thought that he was a bully! So maybe he just always acts like that when someone doesn’t agree with him and it had nothing to do with my assertiveness. I didn’t end up getting a good mark in the class, but I don’t care. I don’t want to ever deal with him again. I have to keep my mind on the future and what I want to achieve. I am nearly finished the program and in the long run, this loser and his stupid class won’t matter at all in my life. When I move on to bigger and better things he will still be in this crappy town!

I was assertive with a prof in an email and he flipped out on me. I was so upset and it bothered me for days. It upset me so much people thought I had the flu. It was horrible. I avoided him for the rest of the semester.

Note to Self: You are so busy and next semester you will be just as busy. Do not volunteer for anything else or let anyone convince you to do anything else! Wait until the summer when you will have tons of free time. Spend your free time reading, talking and chatting with your ‘real’ friends, exercising, and making yourself into a better person. The next time someone asks you to commit to something say “NO!”

I am no longer putting up with things I don’t like. I’m not big on chit chatting, so when people are doing it, I don’t participate or I walk away. I only like conversations between me and one other person, otherwise all you can discuss is mindless fluff. I also said not to group activities I was not interested in. By being assertive I saved myself a lot of grief and didn’t end up somewhere I did not want to be. I feel more empowered. I can say no. I have also stopped worring so much about what other people think. So what if some people think I don’t like them, they are not my real friends anyway and they don’t even know me. I will save my time for my real friends :)

I had to be assertive sometimes during my vacation becaue it was impossible to spend time with everyone and do everything they wanted to do. I think that it ended up okay but I felt bad when I couldn’t do everything they wanted. I’m still reading the Assertiveness Workbook.

I am reviewing ‘The Assertiveness Workbook” by Randy Paterson so that I can use it with clients. At the same time I can build up my own assertiveness skills. I also have to go over an anxiety and phobia workbook and a depression workbook too but I will start with this one because I am less familliar with assertiveness training.

I checked the library and there actually were no books on how to be more assertive! I can’t believe it. I guess this is a book I will have to buy. Maybe next month.

I’m going to go to the library and get an assertiveness workbook instead of buying one. I can always make notes on the important tips.