Create the life I want to live

I’m sure that I spelled that wrong really wrong, but that what Daniel, I guess u can say friend at worked said. It seem like Daniel always knows exactly what to say to make me feel like shit. But I’m going to try to take a initiative in my life. I don’t know I’m gonna try to figure it all out

SO, I think, I need to take this whole goal alot more seriously I mean I accomplished two the of the biggest things that I wanted to get done , one was getting my permit, and getting my license. And I got that. And I think that I need to get better friends and make more connection, because the friends that I have now, its can’t just be me trying to make it work, it has to go both ways and it hit me that I want a life that I have friends that I know is going to be there for me no matter what. So I took the liberty of erasing all the number in my phone, I mean the true friends will call u, isn’t that what they say to the people in rehab when they tell them to erase their number. yeah,but I think that I’m going to start from scratch I know what I want and I know its scary ,but I deserve to have good people in my life, and that mean scraping out the bad.

Okay, sometime, in no particular order or reason, I just feel so depress and I just can’t shake it. It usually last 2 weeks or until I don’t know. But I’m going to do something different instead of letting it get me I”m going to fight it. I’m taking this goal seriously now, I need to stop getting mad. I don’t know . I want to change.

I think I just been bullshitting my on this goal. i need to be my own motivation, and swear to God stop depending on Kevin, and other people. Take CHANCES. TAke some risk, stop worrying about other people, and MAKE HORRIBLE meals , and until I can perfect them . Live alittle and just stop being my own worst enemey

Now, heres what I want out of my life, stop being angry, stop being verbal abusive. Believe in myself, I want a life, that I love everyday and I ‘m not ashame of myself or anything that i do. Simple

I don’t knwo. and yes I know that I did spell that wrongs, its just I think there a point in everyone life where they are like, what the fuck and I’m fighting for. When is enough is enough .

Still working on it, I think this is going to forever be a ongoing battle with myself

Somehow this week, all my progress kinda went down the drain. I don’t know how, it did, and I can’t pin where and how I did. But I’m gonna deal with the cards I was dealt with and make it work

No more self pity

I’m trying , God knows that I’m trying ,and I think the things thats fucks me up is that I second guess myself all the time, and that fucks me up, it fuck me up when I was doing my permit , and it fucked me up , in everything I do, because I always second guess myself all the time. i want a life wghere im confident in myself and in my decision

SO, Michelle the shit starter called me and told me that , the new kid thomas is getting a raise, all becaiuse he greets the customer, I mean I have no problem with him, he comment on my student id. LOl So At first I was piss, and shit because, I been there since August, and i get paid 7.25, I mean thats good. To me, But I don’t know what Michelle goal was, to get me rall up but I need to stop letting other people succes or doing good in their life Make me want them to fail, and I know that in order for me to get my crap to together I have to worry about me. Because 6 years from now all I got is me. I don’t know I’ll write more later