figure out what i want to do with my life

So…next weekend I am heading up to Philly for a family trip. I am going to go up to NY for a few days to check out two grad schools and see how i like them and their Art Therapy programs. I am looking forward to it. Plus…at the family party my second cousin will be there. He lives in Brooklyn and does documentary film work. So, I would like to talk to him about that, because documentary and video editing are my other career interests, along with photography. I figure while I am in Philly, I’ll stop by the “random” sublet from the past summer and see how those people are doing. See how they finally set up the place. I always like to keep connections with others no matter how loose or random they are. Not that I keep in touch with these people or anything. I only met the one guy, but still I’d like to say HI. Then hopefully when I get back I’ll go on my west coast road trip!

I am glad that I came back from Philly this past summer. I actually feel like I have sort of found my direction and am excited and positive about the future ahead. I have plans in mind and am taking the steps towards activating those plans. So…although figuring out what I want to do with my life is pretty nebulous and an ongoing process I feel good about life at the moment!

So from where I left off I only stayed in the Philly sublet for the month of June. Now I have decided I am going to go to NYC in the fall. That is actually where I really wanted to go and I think I was trying to settle on Philly. So…I am heading back to Georgia to regroup and head back up north in the fall. All in all I think even though I was only in Philly for a short time and spent some money…it helped to give me some insight on things. I think I am finally starting to zero in on what it is I want. I know the direction I would like my life to be heading. Although I am taking a step back for a few months (which I am still ify about)...it may work out for the best. Hopefully.

So i decided to move to philly to sublet this place and it really wasn’t how i envisioned it as being. im staying in this huge artist loft temporarily. the roommates arent here. basically they moved their stuff here and left. It is all scattered everywhere still in boxes, so it is a bit odd that im just here in the midst of it all. well the one will be back in a week or two and the other wont be here till july. so random…anyhow, so im still trying to understand why i came here. i guess for change, but it is very hard so far….i only know one person and ive just be aimlessly wandering around by myself with no purpose. then i come back to the place and there is no one here to talk with. im sure ill get used to it. everything takes time. im still just trying to figure out why i decided here and if i really want to be here. i think i will only stay at this sublet for this month though and see where things take me after that.

I’m think part of my problem with trying to figure out what I want to do is that I want to go off in all different directions in my life. First and foremost I can’t seem to focus on one particular thing, and then I when I do do I’m so indecisive about all the aspects of what that entails. So, Im 28 and seem to have been floating along, with no commitments (enjoying myself and gaining experiences) but I haven’t found that purpose that is calling. Im thinking of moving to Philly in 3 weeks but is it right or just a whimsical idea that will lead to more floating???