Hire a personal trainer.

and I will measure at week 12 which i’m mid-week 9 right now. i think I’m finally beginning to connect into the worthwhile-ness of this. it’s been a long haul, but everyone who trains regularly in the gym says about week 12 is when you really begin to notice a difference.

i did have an out-of-town person from work last week tell me they could tell in my face I was losing weight =) I think I might be on the ‘cusp’ where everyone I work with will begin to start to notice in the next few weeks.

in 5 weeks. My trainer is ecstatic but somehow, I’m not connected to my accomplishment. I just keep thinking about how hard I’ve worked in the last 5 weeks and if I really want to keep working this hard… it’s beginning to feel incongruent with the overall intention I have for life which is to be more loving & compassionate on myself and kicking my arse in the gym at 5am every morning… well I’m questioning if it’s more part of an old pattern of work HARD.

My awareness is that I need to do some inner work and really get a solid intention for why I’m working out instead of focusing so much on the goal (thank you Rosie, Head Coach at FLI). I think my discomfort is coming from a place where I’m focusing too much on the goal and I need to shift it into practicing an intention. Plus writing a freakin acknowledgement for every surfer, rock climber and 600 calorie-burn session on the elliptical will also support me.

The cruise is 12 weeks away. If I can lose 13 more pounds by then, I’ll be ecstatic, but what I’d like to do is practice loving and accepting myself no matter how much I weigh and base that loving-acceptance on how I feel in my own skin instead.

woo hoo… up to burning 500 calories on the elliptical. I’m doing cardio M, T, Th, Sa and weight training W & F.

i’ve always wanted to do this and since I’ve entered a phase of my life where it’s all about giving back to ME, I did! i’ll tell you there are muscles in my body talking to me that have NEVER talked to me like they are now ;) for two days it hurt to climb the stairs in my apartment but ohhh it also felt soooo good. I kept thinking, if it hurts, it means I’m burning calories. 10 weeks 20 lbs… i know it’s a pretty steep goal, but 2 lbs a week is healthy!

that cruise that was in october is now in november… it’s my goal to go on that cruise LOVING MY BODY to compliment the new me that LOVES HERSELF!