connect with others

I’m doing a review of my goals and came across this one waiting quietly towards the bottom of my list. What did I have in mind when I made this a goal? I found myself wondering. I admit I was a bit puzzled. Just today I spent lunch with a couple of friends. We make it as regular an event as we can.

There will always be more I could do, ways I could be more mindful. But even so, I don’t think I’m giving myself enough credit for the things that I’m already doing. This year is a very busy year for me, yet I’m still making time to get in touch with the people that mean most to me.

So I’m counting this as done.

The more I look at this goal and the sub-goals under it, the more I see how guilt-driven and ridiculous they are. I feel guilty for not spending enough time with these people, for not paying them enough attention. In a few cases it may perhaps be justified, but in many it isn’t. Is this just my perfectionism kicking in? My need to be the best friend, the perfect friend?

Perfect is impossible. It’s impossible to do for one friend, let alone all.

The more I think about it, the more I think connecting with others needs to be a spontaneous thing. It can’t be systematised. Interesting, isn’t it? I can’t be perfect, so I try to create systems that will bring me as close to it as possible.

Perhaps in some cases, that’s a good thing, like ensuring a high professional standard. Not for connecting. I think it’s important to keep in touch with those dearest to me on a regular basis, but I need to leave room for spontenaity. Like clouds, I need to allow a coming together, a merging and a drifting apart.

And I need to let go of this guilt.

I believe that this is the best way I can make a contribution to society. Do what I can, where I am—no more and no less.