Honour my inner Goddess

I had my first Goddess Night tonight. I hadn’t planned to. I’d been working hard on my essay today and I decided to have a bath tonight as a reward. Then my inner Goddess kicked in, insisting I take the book on Animal Symbolism along with me and issuing a further stream of commands: exfoliate before you get in and again before you get out, shave those legs, ooo… it’s time to try out that cleansing mask, and make sure you moisturise your entire body when you get out.

Not only does my skin feel lovely and smooth, but I feel more present in the moment and the tummy ache that had been troubling me this afternoon (probably stress and bad eating habits) has quietened down.

I did a bit of pondering about this today. It seemed to me that what I need to do is to instate a “Goddess night” perhaps once a month. I’m thinking long soaks in the bath with candles and a good book. Also a chance to slow down and get to know this Goddess, find out what she might like.

There’s also something here about reclaiming power.

I’ve been doing a bit of a review of my goals lately and wondering just what it would take for me to be happy in marking this as done. I don’t know the answer yet, but I know that I still strongly associate this goal with being a bit more feminine, maybe pampering my body more… actually, yeah, that’s it, more than necessarily being more feminine.

Anyway, I certainly want to have a think about it a bit longer. This goal could be a lot of fun if I let it.

This goal has been on my mind more often lately. Today I had some bookshopping to do and managed to pick up a copy of Goddesses in Everywoman which {mandarina darinka Turandot} recommended to me. It looks fascinating and I can’t wait to dive into it.

On another note, I had lunch with a friend today who is going through some relationship problems. She expressed a wish to have more independence, to be able to have her own life outside of the relationship while still being a part of the relationship.

It made me remember a similar battle I once had to face and made me grateful for the strong, independent woman I am now, unafraid to dream big and to live my own life.

In a way it came as a surprise to me, because my friend had always been the smart and pretty one in highschool. I always feel inferior before I go to meet her. But now I see that I have qualities that she doesn’t in a way that doesn’t detract from the qualities she has.

I did better with this today. I guess the fact that it was Valentine’s Day made me think of Aphrodite. It made me want to celebrate love and beauty.

So I covered myself with a lovely-smelling moisturiser and perfume to match. I got out the gorgeous satin top I bought for my sister’s wedding. Just for fun I plaited a very long, thin strand of my hair.

Then I went out to lunch with my boyfriend and seduced him when we got home.

Every time I looked in the mirror I saw how beautiful I was. That was probably the best Valentine’s gift of all.

I’ve been having a serious think about this goal today. The subject seems to be popping up everywhere I look, so best to accept the message.

I’ve realised lately one of the reasons I feel I “neglect” this goal so much. I’m a bit of a tomboy. I don’t wear much jewelry and jeans and sneakers are almost constant attire. This goal really speaks to me about reclaiming my femininity. I can’t do that when I dress the way I do. Which is not to say I should give it up completely. But I’m sure wearing a skirt a bit more often is not going to kill me. Why not dress up more often? Use some nice body creams, wear a hat or some long dangly earrings?

Remember I am the temple to a Goddess.

This goal hasn’t been getting the attention it deserves, but I had a nice little moment today. I sat down to try a meditation technique described by Meditation7. He recommended playing music. While I was meditating, a song called Shiv Shakti came on. I’ve been dealing with a lot of uncertainty and anxiety lately, so it was nice to hear a song of such quiet strength.

Some of the lyrics are:

Woman of wisdom, woman of powerWoman of strength, lioness of courage.She who spins and weaves and cuts the way,she who occupies sacred space.Stand up Shiv Shakti take your stage,stand up Shiv Shakti calm their rage,stand up Shiv Shakti turn the page.

Over the last little while, I’d been feeling like I was neglecting this goal. But something must be going on on a subconscious level because I feel like I’m starting to hear my inner Goddess more clearly. She’s been saying things like “Are you sure this is really what you want?” and “Just trust. I have everything covered.”

I’ve been thinking a little more on this. Like Suzette said, I too feel I honour my inner goddess when I do or wear something that makes me feel sexy or when I’m in the flow of creating something.

But the more I think about it, the more I feel that compassion and forgiveness plays a big part for me. I think my inner goddess is the part of me that can understand and forgive even when the rest of me is struggling. I think she’s also the little voice that takes care of me and whispers “you’re doing fine, there’s nothing to worry about”.

I think honouring that part of me needs to involve stopping and saying thank you, affirming “yes, I believe, I have faith. I know it will all turn out”.

I’ve been reading the entries for this goal with great interest over the last few days. For some reason, though, I never really connected it with myself. I guess on some level I didn’t really believe I could have an inner goddess.

The invite from Gypsy was waiting in my inbox today. Who am I to resist? I think it will tie in very well with my goal to nurture my spiritual self.

Some more thought on how exactly I’m going to go about this is going to be necessary, I suspect.