Honour my inner Goddess

Funnily enough, after writing my last entry I went out shopping with my mum for her wedding dress. She found her dress and so did I. I ended up spending the most I’ve ever spent on an outfit before. Mum was a bit concerned, but I feel it was worth every penny because it makes me feel beautiful and makes me think of Aphrodite. I can’t wait to wear it.

This goal has been a lot about feeling feminine for me. I’m the kind of girl that lives in jeans and sneakers. However, the country is in the middle of one of the hottest summers on record. It just hasn’t been practical to wear that kind of clothing. Over the last month I have acquired two very lovely skirts and unearthed another two out of my cupboard. And I’m enjoying wearing them; I’m finding that it makes me feel a bit more feminine and like I am honouring my inner Goddess.

I also wore my lovely moonstone earrings instead of my usual sleepers today and a total stranger complimented me on them.

It has been a while since I really connected with my inner Goddess, so I took some time out this evening. I had a nice long soak in the bath, which was followed by a moment of realisation. I am often dogged by uncertainty, fear and pain. But underneath that, I am powerful. I simply forget that sometimes.

It has been raining on and off this afternoon… just lightly, but enough to wet the earth and make it smell nice. I took a quick, barefooted stroll through my garden this evening and was amazed by the vista of stars overhead.

I had my first Goddess Night tonight. I hadn’t planned to. I’d been working hard on my essay today and I decided to have a bath tonight as a reward. Then my inner Goddess kicked in, insisting I take the book on Animal Symbolism along with me and issuing a further stream of commands: exfoliate before you get in and again before you get out, shave those legs, ooo… it’s time to try out that cleansing mask, and make sure you moisturise your entire body when you get out.

Not only does my skin feel lovely and smooth, but I feel more present in the moment and the tummy ache that had been troubling me this afternoon (probably stress and bad eating habits) has quietened down.

I did a bit of pondering about this today. It seemed to me that what I need to do is to instate a “Goddess night” perhaps once a month. I’m thinking long soaks in the bath with candles and a good book. Also a chance to slow down and get to know this Goddess, find out what she might like.

There’s also something here about reclaiming power.

I’ve been doing a bit of a review of my goals lately and wondering just what it would take for me to be happy in marking this as done. I don’t know the answer yet, but I know that I still strongly associate this goal with being a bit more feminine, maybe pampering my body more… actually, yeah, that’s it, more than necessarily being more feminine.

Anyway, I certainly want to have a think about it a bit longer. This goal could be a lot of fun if I let it.

This goal has been on my mind more often lately. Today I had some bookshopping to do and managed to pick up a copy of Goddesses in Everywoman which {mandarina darinka Turandot} recommended to me. It looks fascinating and I can’t wait to dive into it.

On another note, I had lunch with a friend today who is going through some relationship problems. She expressed a wish to have more independence, to be able to have her own life outside of the relationship while still being a part of the relationship.

It made me remember a similar battle I once had to face and made me grateful for the strong, independent woman I am now, unafraid to dream big and to live my own life.

In a way it came as a surprise to me, because my friend had always been the smart and pretty one in highschool. I always feel inferior before I go to meet her. But now I see that I have qualities that she doesn’t in a way that doesn’t detract from the qualities she has.

I did better with this today. I guess the fact that it was Valentine’s Day made me think of Aphrodite. It made me want to celebrate love and beauty.

So I covered myself with a lovely-smelling moisturiser and perfume to match. I got out the gorgeous satin top I bought for my sister’s wedding. Just for fun I plaited a very long, thin strand of my hair.

Then I went out to lunch with my boyfriend and seduced him when we got home.

Every time I looked in the mirror I saw how beautiful I was. That was probably the best Valentine’s gift of all.

I’ve been having a serious think about this goal today. The subject seems to be popping up everywhere I look, so best to accept the message.

I’ve realised lately one of the reasons I feel I “neglect” this goal so much. I’m a bit of a tomboy. I don’t wear much jewelry and jeans and sneakers are almost constant attire. This goal really speaks to me about reclaiming my femininity. I can’t do that when I dress the way I do. Which is not to say I should give it up completely. But I’m sure wearing a skirt a bit more often is not going to kill me. Why not dress up more often? Use some nice body creams, wear a hat or some long dangly earrings?

Remember I am the temple to a Goddess.

This goal hasn’t been getting the attention it deserves, but I had a nice little moment today. I sat down to try a meditation technique described by Meditation7. He recommended playing music. While I was meditating, a song called Shiv Shakti came on. I’ve been dealing with a lot of uncertainty and anxiety lately, so it was nice to hear a song of such quiet strength.

Some of the lyrics are:

Woman of wisdom, woman of powerWoman of strength, lioness of courage.She who spins and weaves and cuts the way,she who occupies sacred space.Stand up Shiv Shakti take your stage,stand up Shiv Shakti calm their rage,stand up Shiv Shakti turn the page.