follow my heart

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about the “follow my heart” thing all morning and this is probably obvious to everyone else but I just realized I have to be more honest with myself and everyone around me. I may not know exactly what I’m suppose to do yet but I’m working on it and the only way to make the trip go faster is by voicing my opinion and telling others how I really feel. If something is holding me back or bringing me down, I’ve got to tell them even if it means the risk of upsetting that person. And if they get upset, it just means they aren’t putting my feelings into consideration.
This may all sound somewhat confusing because I’m not explaining the whole situation but the bottom line is, be honest and don’t be afraid of what others think.

As a minor note, I also need to stop letting people pressure me or rush me into anything I’m not ready for. I’ll get there when I get there.

2009 has not been my best year. Ever since January, I have been trying to sort out the conflicting feelings in my heart. My trust was broken by the person I cared about most in the world and I was becoming bitter. To make matters worse, his patience was wearing out and I could feel it. We’re over now, but it was a very long, and drawn out process which involved possible love intersts on either side complicating things and a lot of harsh words. In the end, we decided we just had to let eachother go; not because we didn’t love eachother but because so much had happened. There was just no getting over it. Trust is necessary in a relationship and he lost mine a long time ago.

Now people keep saying “Do what makes you happy.” It’s not easy because I feel like people always want something from me and I just want a friend. Also, I’ve noticed that doing what makes me happy doesn’t always go over well with everyone else. It’s not easy for me to be happy when I know the people I care about aren’t. Today I need to focus and find a way. I’m just going to have to work harder.