Quit drinking so darn much

I actually had one drink over my alloted 2 tonight and could hardly stay awake and stop slurring my words. I can have other hobbies. The smoking has lost its appeal as well.

so far so good

Made it through the week on the wagon.

Now, next goal is to only drink once a week at the most and have two beers at the most.

although I really wanted a beer – made it!

but hopeful about staying sober at least for this week.

It’s time to start admitting that I ahve a problem and although it’s very good that I’ve cut down on the amount of my drinking I need to just cut it out for awhile. So my goal for this week is not to drink at all.

Reasons for that:

I won’t have to replace my driver’s license and insurance card because I lost my purse.

I won’t feel embarrassed because I drunk dialed a crush at 3am and hung up when he answered like a middle schooler.

I’ll get out of bed feeling lighter and less toxic.

I won’t start chain-smoking.

I won’t smell like smoke. Blech.

I was thinking about my relationship with alcohol, particularly binge drinking. It’s really wrecked a part of my life. For example, my grades in college were really awful. And I’ve made horrible decisions about sex which has really been damaging. And all the massive hangovers (like today when I really need my head to do some work). I’ve had terrible nights from too much drinking.

The problem is also that I handle alcohol really well. I’m never the girl puking in the bathroom (although I have made myself puke before to avoid a hangover – sick!). I’m the girl who can still drive home. But that’s a problem. This doesn’t mean I’m sober – maybe jsut that I’m in denial of the consequences that alcohol has had on my life. And that needs to stop.

About 5 years ago, my dad and I went to Savannah for st patty’s day. We started drinking on an empty stomach at 8am, and this went on for hours. We were chain-smoking as well. When we got back to our relative’s house I passed out. The next day my dad told me how he was sitting across the street in a park continuing to chain-smoke and feeling like crap and realized he needed to make some changes in his life. To this day, he has never touched another cigarette or beer and he is a happy man, unlike the tumultuous person I grew up with.

I think I need to follow his example. I think saying I’m going to quit drinking period might be a bit overwhelming so I’m going to take it a day at a time, a week at a time, a month and really think ahout my relationship with alcohol and if its worth continuing on a casual basis. With the way I feel right now, it’s probably not.

So, on the wagon this week. I can do this.

one long night out officially with only three beers. I rock

Of course tonight is going to be a long one too. I’ll pace myself and drink lots of water.

but before I reached for my fifth beer in four hours I did manage to stop myself. I needed to drive home and also had started smoking cigarettes (knocking out another goal ;) )

Still, I ahve to say I’ve really been making a lot of progress with this goal, particularly at sticking to beer and wine (and not mixing) and not exceeding three drinks. In most cases I’ve managed to have drinks without smoking. (I also notice I tend to smoke more when I’m around people I’m getting to know and therefore am not as calm as when I hang out with people I do know who are mostly non-smokers.

Anyway, I still obviously have some work to do on this goal – and I will. But I didn’t wake up this morning with a monster hangover worried about if I said anything stupid, so definitely progress!

When I’m out = 3 drinks if I eat something

2 drinks on an empty stomach.

I learned last night that even though I stayed within my 3 drink limit I was still hungover this morning owing to the fact that I had nothing in my stomach (probably smoking cigs didn’t help either). Live and learn.

in new orleans start looking a little rough as they age. Mom pointed out they look like alcoholics. Even more reason to stick to this goal.