control my anger

dealing with my other mental issues is definitely helping with this as well as running and avoiding sugar and artificial ingredients. (I’ve gotten thinner as well which is a bonus.

I’m still overwhelmingly angry at my ex and all the hurtful things he did to me, but I have a right to be. And to keep that anger from eating me I go to therapy and talk about it, and I’ve made a point to cut him out of my life forever. No phone calls, emails, etc. It hurts sometimes, but I think I can do it and be a much nicer person.

I also find that by being less angry, I don’t get so anxious when I ahve to interact with people socially. And that really helps.

in the grocery store. After she basically freaked out because I was standing in front of a plastic bag stand even though there were a thousand of them around, I said “there is no need to be a bitch about it.”

Well, there wasn’t. And I noticed a lot of people around me agreed with me. And I didn’t yell or anything, just got assertive.

I think sometimes the anger comes from me doing my best not to step on anyone’s toes. Well, there are ways to step out without stepping on toes, and controlling my anger doesn’t mean I have to put up with everything. Just control my anger when I get so overwhelmed by all of my own emotions to the point where I want to yell and scream and cry and throw things. Haven’t been there too much recently. I think I’m getting better.

Sometimes it makes me forget what I was angry about. Or keeps me from resorting to violence. :)

Maybe it will help to write them down.

I’m angry with a neighbor who has dumped all her junk under my stairs making it hard to come to and fro, and the workman next door who have dumped mud all over the sidewalk so I have to traipse through it when it rains. I’m angrier still that these are things I try to be so considerate about with other people and yet they don’t think twice.

I’m also pissed at another neighbor who still has not come through with a painting I paid her for a long time ago.

I’m annoyed with my father because I’m trying to gather money for a down payment (to get away from annoying situations) on a condo that he acted like he was going to lend me (he has quite a bit) and then is now acting like he shouldn’t. And all I can think about is all the affairs he had with women not much older than me that sniffed thousands up their noses while my poor mom sat at home waiting.

I’m really furious at my sister who always tries to make me feel guilty about how we’re not close or how I’m not trying (despite me never missing any event in her life, always calling and emailing her) who has yet to call or even drop me an email to congratulate me on graduating law school. She’s pulled this before. To be frank, I’m not sure it’s even worth it to try anymore. I used to be love was all about giving and giving and never expecting a return. Now I jsut realize that that’s just called masochism.

Enough, it’s time for some spring cleaning before I decide that I’m the thing that goes. And that’s how it feels. All the anger I can’t give to other people I start turning on myself.

I will learn not to be bitter about this past semester. sometimes people are just assholes. that doesn’t mean that I have to be one too

so I’ve been thrilled with my maturity lately. I ahndled my horrible boss. I stand up for myself and haven’t been letting myself get dragged into other people’s conflicts. Anger is contagious! The only thing I’d like to work on are these intense flashes of anger at my ex, but hey he is a jerk and the anger is serving a useful purpose of not letting me pick up the phone. :)

this is really helping me to stop letting my “parent” or “child” come out too often.

even at myself. I need to be more forgiving. Especially with myself.

when I turn my anger inward. When I hate everyone it’s like I’m afraid of getting into trouble so I turn the abuse into self-destructive behaviors, overeating, smoking, drinking, oversleeping, being lazy about studying for exams, etc.

I really don’t know what to do…sometimes I’m just at the end of my rope. It’s so much, I jsut want to scream and scream.

I really need to get over road rage. Delays happen, and so did silly drivers. In fact, I’m sure I’ve been a silly driver. If I really need to be somehwere important, I’ll leave a little earlier so the urge to run down pedestrians will leave. :)

(Just kidding about that last part – I’m not that crazy … yet).