Finish the canoe

Yes, it is! I’ve neglected updating this goal so I have to say that I not only finished it I paddled in it! It stayed dry as a bone inside! It’s really heavy though . . . I hurt myself. Not blow out a gonad hurt yourself more like tear some muscle in your forearm hurt yourself. (Lets make that perfectly clear shall we.) At least I think I tore my muscles, it sounded like a bag of potato chips being smashed when it happened. Can anyone diagnose me over the internet?

I am hurt and don’t have any photos because I couldn’t wait for help. I’m a man and I have poor judgment especially when it comes to having patience. So, I turn the canoe backwards and put a cement block in the back seat for stability. Worked like a charm! Miss cement block had a wonderful cruse. I won’t take the goal down until I get some photos even though it might take a long time to get it out again since it’s November.

Most comments out on the lake were favorable except for the following:

Some guy paddled his Kevlar/aluminum canoe up to mine and asked if mine was homemade. “Yes” I said, “I’m not sure how to take that question though.” “Just a statement of fact.” He said. “How much does it weigh?” He asked. “I’m not sure.” I said. (How does one weigh a 17 foot homemade canoe anyway?) “How much does your Kevlar canoe weigh?” I asked. “21 pounds.” He said.

This is when I made those WW2 whoop whoop whooooop sounds and rammed him. He sank within a few seconds. I would have taken survivors onboard, but the fuehrer strictly forbids giving aid to rich snobs.

In the pic above I’ve started “fairing”. For those of you who don’t know what the hell that is, like I did, it means walking around the damn canoe like you know what you’re doing and looking for the odd bump or void that needs to be filled. I discovered that my Polish neighbor does not like the sound of an electric sander. Every time I turned the sander off, I heard loud polish folk music. After a while, she would turn it off. I started sanding again and more polish folk music.

I cut her lawn that weekend to patch any cracks to her fortress of solitude. She’s a nice lady even though she doesn’t like the sound of power tools.

At this point I have more confidence and actually think it will see a lake and float in it.

(Oops, I just realized that svereal weeks ago I wrote 97% finished. Well I told you I don’t know what I’m doing!!! Consider that I’m close to being finished.)

In the pic above all seams have been filleted, the canoe turned upside down, the outside seams filleted and then sanded. (My yard is a mess, a fact my daughter doesn’t spare my feelings about.)

In the pic above, I am starting to have my doubts again. It was hard getting the bow and stern “bulkheads” in and aligned properly. Eventually I managed with much cussing and banging. This was just before Ivan dumped a crap load of water were I live in the midwest. Although the canoe was covered, it still filled with water and held it. I thought it was ruined, but it dried without warping and I figure that if it held water in . . . it might just keep water out.

Yes, I’m still working on it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and it’s taking me a long time. In this pic, I am starting to get some hope that the thing will at least look like a canoe. I have just finished “tacking” the top piece on. (Note the Popsicle sticks for alignment purposes.)

The blanket in the background and on the ground is for my dog, cade. For some reason he paces around looking for a nice spot to lay down and usually when he finds one I have to make him move. I brought his blankie and he ignored it and slept way in the back yard. Dogs . . .

Two of the four side panels now stitch and glued to the bottom. The “stitches” are zip ties which were cut and the spaces they inhabited glued. Still two more side panels to go and ribbing.

The pieces cur from 4 – 4’ x 8’ sheets of ply wood are now glued with epoxy forming one contiguous bottom and four contiguous side panels. (My dog is overjoyed with the progress.)

and it’s near fruition. See attached pic.