find who I am

who or what made the rose a significant flower in our culture?
was it the beauty alone, the curves, the softness, and the presence of the flower which made it so popular.
or was it simply one lonely man saw this flower and it reminded him of a past love, and he popularized it just simply by chance.

in old Britain the rose was a very popular flower, could the origination of our obsession with this flower have began there?

i can not deny the everlasting beauty of the rose … though i have to question why the rose? why not the buttercup or ever more likely.. the daisy.
they are still pretty but in their own supple and simple way but nothing compared to the rose.

so why do we thrive on the complexity and tenderness of the rose?

but maybe that’s just it… what we don’t understand, what we don’t question we just accept. if we questioned more, and didn’t just let more things slide because it’s happened before and it was accepted before.. maybe we could live in a world where if you aren’t a rose, being a daisy doesn’t feel so lonely.

i don’t know who i am
and i don’t think i ever will
i can never control my feelings
i can never control my brain
its always thinking and always pulling me some way i don’t want to go
i can’t get past my hormones which want me to do things which would hurt me
i can’t stop felling alone even though i’m not
boys just fuck with my heart
and girls just fuck with my head
there is no in between
i would die for my friends, but they wouldn’t so the same for me at least as far as i know
i could stand in a massive room full of people
and cut my legs into an oblivion and noone would even flinch, no one would stop to ask ME if i was ok
i love the people who surround me to death and beyond
but sometimes i wonder if i make a difference
if i can help or shape their lives in ways that make them feel better about themselves

the painful exploration of casey begins… it almost sounds like a cavity search >.<