overcome my struggle with compulsive binge eating

This has not been a good week for avoiding binge eating. Looking back I think at least 2 of the last 3 nights (if not all 3) I did not sleep that well after eating way too much in evening binges.

While it has been long enough that I have eaten to the point of feeling sick that I can not remember when it last was, in many ways the compulsive eating has not completely stopped. It was bad enough that I gained some weight over the holidays when there was way too much Christmas cookies and candy around, yet it is still around as I’m still holding steady at the higher weight as compared to losing as time goes on.

I’d have to say that while I do feel that I have been doing a lot better although I realized I need to really up its priority from mid term to major life values. Too many people are dominated by food to the point that it literally destroys their lives or how the Bible puts it in one place that their belly has become their god. Which I think is quite true as if one is dominated by their food into living to eat as compared to eating to live, food controls one’s life as compared to one’s core values and goals driving one’s life forward.

Or at lest on the surface I have been eating less and have been doing a better job at avoiding binge eating in times of stress. My only concern is that I hope I am not switching into the opposite extreme of not eating when stressed instead of eating too much as I am starting to realize the number of days that I am only eating 2 small meals without any snacks.

Honestly this is the main reason why I marked off the try 43 new cheeses goal as done away from home and just not fully documented. The problem was not with the cheese but with virtually entry on the goal was written while eating the entire package of cheese in a single sitting more times than not. In a similar way I know to avoid the snack food aisle of the dollar store as that is especially dangerous as more times than not I’ve manage to eat an entire box of Swiss Roll Cakes in a single sitting at the cost of spare pocket change.

• Periodically does not exercise control over consumption of food.
• Eats an unusually large amount of food at one time, far more than an average person would eat in the same amount of time.
• Eats much more quickly during binge episodes than during normal eating episodes.
• Eats until physically uncomfortable and nauseated due to the amount of food just consumed.
• Eats when depressed or bored.
• Eats large amounts of food even when not really hungry.
• Usually eats alone during binge eating episodes, in order to avoid discovery of the disorder.
• Often eats alone during periods of normal eating, owing to feelings of embarrassment about food.
• Feels disgusted, depressed, or guilty after binge eating.

Looking over the list I can honestly say that all of them hold true for me especially the bit about the tendency of eating alone during binges in order to hide it from others. Deep down I know that this is the key problem to my lack of ability to lose weight even though I have things “semi under control” in the sense that I am mostly holding steady with my weight but I know in reality things are still out of control in how it is still bad enough to prevent weight loss even though I am able to eat normally most of the time.