stand up for myself

I’m getting better about standing up for myself when it comes to the people I know well.

However, I still have a lot of work to do with standing up for myself in public situations. If I am in a store and someone is blocking an aisle or something I need to pick up, I wait quietly or go completely out of my way to get around them instead of simply saying ‘excuse me.’ I’m not sure why I am so reluctant to do this. I suppose it is because I don’t like using my voice.

Yesterday I stood up to my mother. She was making a huge issue out of nothing and insulting me when I had done nothing to deserve it. She backed down when I stood my ground, which really surprised me. Also, she has been in a crabby mood for much less time than I expected. If I had simply sat there and let her go like usual, she would of been complaining for a week. Instead, she stopped almost immediately. I am glad that I stood up for myself, but it made me feel bad. Not bad for what I did, just for how she is and for not knowing how to help her.

She has been so bitter and wound up since my father died about a year and a half ago, which is understandable. It hurts me to see her so unhappy, but I think only time will fix it. She would heal much faster if she just left the house once in awhile and interacted with other people.

The other day, my boyfriend and I were driving home from class and we were behind a car that I thought was driven by a certain person. He said it was not him, but I stood behind what I said and insisted that it was. My boyfriend passed him and I ended up being wrong, but standing up for myself even in such a small way felt great. Usually I would of backed down from something like that.
A small, but significant step ;)