get pregnant

We’re in our 10th week and looking forward to May 19th! I’ve been sick and exhausted all of the time – I don’t feel like the same person, but I’m still so excited. We have a lot to do before baby arrives, but first we’re just taking it easy and spending lots of time together = )

Since I can’t seem to make a decision about anything, I don’t know why this would be any different. I come complete with a college degree, loving husband, and brand new house, but find myself wondering if I’m even capable of motherhood, now that my husband and I are actually ready to start trying.

I know, I know, I know.

I’ve having cold feet and all women probably experience fear to some degree when making such a life altering decision, but I don’t know I have “the right stuff.” I’m more and more aware of my selfishness and inability to maintain the sanity that raising a child no doubt requires.

There was a never a point in my life when I didn’t look forward to having children. Until now.

Frick.

We’re buying a house in a sweet, small town close to all of our parents and step-parents. We’re closing on Thursday and moving on Friday! It was so important to me to be married, and a home-owner before we brought little ones home. That’s not the perfect situation for a lot of women, but that’s what I was after and we did it! The house has a big huge yard and there are a ton of kids in the neighborhood, which is near a school. We’re both starting new jobs this year, and while that means more money, we also have new things to pay for as homeowners. Plus, we both want to get established in our careers before we need to take time off for baby. = ) Anyway, we’re getting there!

So, I’m reading Naomi Wolf’s Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood and it is amazing. I can’t belive this isn’t a more well-known book. A friend of mine forced it down my throat because I mentioned sometime maybe possibly having a baby in the future. It’s really about assumptions regarding pregnancy/birth and why those assumptions can be dangerous. It’s a truly eye-opening book and I’m just 90 pages in at this point. It’s all about knowledge and preparedness, two things I intend to be fully armed with once we conceive.

_{Please support our friend, Segsy, on her walk to fight Crohn’s and Colitis!}

Though more and more of our friends are getting pregnant and having little ones, we’re still not. The hubby and I don’t own a house (yet…), and I would like to have a better job before we even start to try. I’m pretty much scared to death of this, but at the same time I’m sooo unbelievably excited to get to this point. We have some pregnancy books (thus the source of my new fear of pregnancy) to read over and learn from, but we’re foster parents for our local humane society, and sometimes that’s enough to make you crazy. I think that if potty training a puppy makes me want to scream, we need to wait a while before tossing the birth control
; )

This isn’t something that I’m looking to do right now. I’m engaged and even after the wedding it would be great to spend some quality time with my husband before starting what I’m sure will be a huge family. However, this is definitely something that I want to do more than anything else.
Congratulations to all of you mommys/daddys-to-be out there! I hope all of your little ones are healthy and happy :)