see heaven on earth

Hey fellow travelers reading this, do you think there is a difference between a human-being and a human-doing?

I believe there is. I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not just humans mindlessly running around doing things.

A lot of times, as I found at one stage of my life, I drifted between feeling nothing (or rather cutting out the world so that I couldn’t feel for the fear of getting hurt again) and feeling too much, so much that it overwhelmed me. Now, using the knowing that I am a spiritual being having a human experience, instead of being overwhelmed by my feelings or trying to cut the feelings from my awareness, I look at my feelings – my emotions – as guides. When I feel angry, I feel the emotion fully, but then instead of reacting in ways that are negative and don’t work for me, I choose to respond to my emotions in creative ways that bring me closer to others and that create experiences that make me feel good about myself.

Every choice, no matter how big or small, has an impact on our lives. Viewing myself as a spiritual being having a human experience also helped me when I was so deeply depressed that I had thoughts of suicide. I told myself that I wanted to ‘move on’, stop the pain of this life, but then I had a thought that made me rethink it. If being human was so bad, then why does the soul choose it so gladly and if I didn’t appreciate the lessons my soul wanted me to learn in this life-time, my soul would come back in another lifetime to face the same lessons again. Better to live this life to its fullest, so that I can move on to higher levels of experience next time round.

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, I hope that looking at it this way gives you some new perspectives on your life. I like to think of my life’s journey as a journey to find my way back home, where the heart of me has always lived. Home is where the heart is and the heart is where love is, be that love for yourself or for another.

When we were young, in our innocence everything and anything was possible. Then life got a hold of us. Thing is, if we let go of the baggage we accrued along the way and simply remember who we truly are, the soul that lives within, we will find new inspiration in an ordinary day.

“Let’s see where the journey is taking us”, are the words that I uttered just moments before I sit down writing this. Wow, what a statement of my surrendering to the Mystery of life, for which my soul has always yearned for. My soul desires this state of being as it is where it can once more feel the ecstatic embrace of its oneness with God. Here where earthly chaos is the order that makes sense to the lover’s madness, herein must be the state in which Rumi, the lover, through the poetry of the soul explains: “If this is madness, then sanity pales in insignificance”. Herein my polarity and my temporary illusion of duality once more passionately come to the resolution of my divine feminine and masculine qualities. Herein opposites attract as I finally look into the mirror of my desire, I am looking back at myself.

Now I know that God cannot be found in the order of my intellect that will always be bound by the puritan views and conditioned beliefs of society. I now realize that the fear of my dark desires, my shadow/s is the warden of my imprisonment, the keeper of the keys that unlock me, when I turn that key inside and “get in the moment where love is the feeling”, I am free. As long as I choose not to know all of who I am, I will be a lesser child of God.

My yearning, my deepest and darkest desires for this ecstasy, once imprisoned by my ego and cleverly barred by the feelings of guilt and shame is now free from the illusion, woken up to the truth that the prison walls are never there, never beyond my choice, my beautiful and powerful free will. I now see that my insistence to choose a world I think I can control, a world of order, has become the very choice to throw away the keys that lock me away, where I suffer only because I choose to submit to my ego’s need for survival, its lesser value of myself that would rather have me locked away in the medieval dungeon of yesterdays memories, because it is what I think I know, than face the incredible power of who know I am right now.

Soon, I know the ego will rear its ugly little incessant head and this time I will be waiting right here in the moment of now, and I will catch it, as I will be awake to the thoughts and emotions, that will only be allowed for a little while, so I can gratefully receive their gifts and then move forward beyond the illusion that they temporarily present and once more experience the TRUTH that there is no separation with the God-force, which is NOW, always within.

I lost God in the lifeless boredom, the bound logic and critical condemnation of my religion and now I find God in the ecstasy of Spirit. As with Depeche Mode, I now know – even in the Dark Night of the Soul – my sweet desire is calling me, so that regardless the illusion of pain and suffering, “I feel loved”.

In A Return to Love, A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson, she transforms the impossible into the unfathomable:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within
us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

Knowledge is indeed power and the wisdom of ages needs to be
integrated once more. The separation of science and
spirituality perpetrated by the middle ages and its
shackling Victorian thinking, the split of our Eastern Body
and the Western Mind and the ideologies thus created, have
become the opposing consensus that needs integration once
again, if we are to avoid the inevitable destruction of
planet earth. Ideologies are the ‘stuff’ that mankind is
prepared to die for. We Are Right, an acronym for W-A-R. Is
it not time that we get together and celebrate our
differences? I know a place beyond right and wrongdoing,
let’s meet there…

Heaven is a vibrational frequency of limitless bliss and
unconditional love. The vibration of ecstasy that is now
being birthed on Earth. The place where dreams come true –
that is, the vibration in which one’s dreams and the life
one lives are one the same.

I feel lost and alone. I miss you and wish you could return to my heart and my soul will once again feel the ecstasy of our union. There are fears holding me back and I feel trapped by them, almost like they are holding me prisoner. Somewhere deep inside of me I remember that I have the key to my great escape. But the memory is so long forgotten in my regrets over yesterday that the sweet moments of your kiss now eludes me. Yet, I yearn for your embrace. When I am with you, I feel free. I look on as this freedom leaves me behind these prison walls and you fly away to disappear in the distant sky. Then I wake up. The dream makes little sense, but what I know is that a world without love offers no freedom. A world without love is a living hell. Heaven is love, hell is the absence thereof.

It is our choice, our own free will, to continue our historic heritage of separation and fear, which only lead to our own demise, or to redirect our collective energy to inheriting a future legacy created by our agreement today to transform the world. The time has indeed come to stop our ego-driven, selfish need to transcend the world, (be above the world) when we can collectively transform ourselves (in the world).

Remember that famous line from 6th sense, starring Bruce Willis? However, I am using it here as a metaphor for us hanging on to yesterday, but more than that the regrets we have, about things that have past. We do not let ‘go of the dead’. Furthermore the dead, also represents the shadow parts of ourselves, where the ghosts of our unconscious walks like phantoms, scaring us. But they are imagined monsters, for they have no power other than what we allow them to have. They, in turn, are there to remind us of what we have not yet dealt with in our lives: our unfinished business, be that an act of forgiveness, or regaining our power after a haunted experience, such as a set-back in life from which we need to pick ourselves up from. Sometimes, we can be the ghosts, the walking dead, and will be until we wake up to our Divine potential, our heavenly future here on earth.

I always think of Spirit’s love and energy being like the sun shining on all of us. It is there for everybody, but anyone can choose to use it like a magnifying glass to focus it through faith to shine brighter in your heaven on earth.

So often one doesn’t realize that eternity is the sweet moment called now. The now is the only time we have control over, as for yesterday we can only learn from and tomorrow may never come. It seems that humans have this compulsion to always understand things before they move on. Where’s the fun in that? Venture into the unknown and break free from your tribe’s conditioning of what is possible. Listen to your heart once again. Stop rationalizing every thing, creating excuses for why you are not living your dreams and have faith in yourself and God that anything and everything is possible if one could only believe it.