lose the weight i need to lose and keep it off

So far this year I’ve quit one gym and moved on to another – this time rather than being close to my house, it’s close to my work. So instead of coming home tired from work, going to the gym (effectively dividing up my time for doing my own stuff in the evening so there isn’t much time to do anything) and eating a late dinner, I can go to work a bit early and take an extra long lunch time to go to the gym and then eat lunch in front of the computer.

Might not sound like a big difference, but the change in my attitude towards gymming is huge. Instead of feeling like the gym is cutting into my leisure time, it’s cutting into my lunch period which I never really use up completely anyway. Instead of not feeling like doing anything but relaxing after work, I get to take a break from work and go the gym. Instead of sitting at a computer for almost 7 hours straight I can do a bit of exercise and come back refreshed.

I think this is going to work out a lot better. I need to find other ways to manipulate myself into enjoying doing these things.

So I’ve been quite happily deluding myself into believing I was perfectly fine for years, all the while gaining more weight. I’m not overweight, but am getting dangerously close…

With my skinny friends complaining about being fat, it’s getting harder to just make fun of them for being stupid and not think that if they are worried, then I REALLY have reason to worry. I realise I’m being a bit hypocritical here – in this heavier generation of Australians, I’m probably still at the smaller end of the spectrum. I think its interesting that we’re getting larger but still cling to the skinny figure as an ideal. I wish we could go back to the Marilyn Monroe-esqe figures being in fashion, but I guess I’ll have to deal with my self esteem issues by taking action rather than hoping for society to change to suit me.

Sorry to anyone that I’m in turn causing to feel insecure because of this – I know how you feel, and this is the best way to deal with it for me.

This is a New Year’s resolution I’ve made many times, and never kept it – on the contrary, I’ve just gotten worse. Let’s see how I go.