i’m not sure if this is working out.
for the first time since i started, i took a day off work just because..
i’m not feeling any better, but its good to be in my pajamas at home.
i feel tired. i feel no one cares, and those that do should not hear this.. i feel this happens every once in a while and i am too heavy to pick myself up. i think i’ve accomplished nothing, or that everything is so fragile like sand castles on the beach, one swish – it will all go. :( all of it.
i feel i don’t deserve. how could i be the same person i was a few weeks ago? how can something change in you? why can’t i be one person? the same. always happy. i don’t mind being an idiot who does not learn depth because she never had any misery, not even self-imagined misery. i don’t believe in the positive arguments for unhappiness. i don’t really believe i have any reason to be unhappy either, but whatever it is, is not listening to any arguments and has no reason.
i know this will pass. tomorrow will be better.
