have more patience

I need Jonathan and Hallie to do more chores around the house without it stressing me out. I have got to devise a system that will get them to do things on their own and follow the house rules.

I know now I have just been complaining. I need to take away tv, PS2 whatever until they have completed the tasks that need to be done in order for our home to run effectively.

Okay I wanted to sleep in but I admitted defeat when the kids were performing dramatic play in the living room with Barbies and James Dean Dolls. I told them to go in the back play room, but I could still hear Jonathan squealing recreating the car crash James Dean died in. I was irritated, because I really wanted to sleep in. I yelled for him which made my head hurt…told him to be quite and bring me two Excedrin..he did so.. I was not very nice about it. I asked him, “Where am I?” he said, “the bed” I asked, “And why and I in here?” He smirked and said, “Because you are trying to sleep.” I wanted to kill him over the smirk, but I didn’t. I told him to quit being selfish and think of someone other than himself. ...I know really great parenting here.

Then when I was trying to check my email Hallie came in whinning saying the recliner was broken. The handle that makes the leg rest had come off. They put it on backwards so that the handle turns into the floor, so you have to lift the recliner up to extend the leg rest. I tried to get the handle off and couldn’t do it. I don’t know how they did it. So here I am with the recliner propped on my knee, pulling on the handle…looking at all the cat scratches in the LEATHER RECLINER and I could feel my patience dwindling. I ended up yelling at Jonathan and Hallie. Made Jonathan go to the car and get his library book and go to his room.

Then the freaking neighbor girl came by selling Girl Scout cookies. I told her no that I was already 20 lbs overweight…she hugged me and said , Please…so I bought a freaking box of Tagalongs…I just ate an entire box day before yesterday…nice diet I know….

Patience please come to me…breathe…in and out…..focus….go to my happy place…...I am not really at home in my pajamas at 12PM….with my hair a mess…..haven’t brushed my teeth yet…...my house is a wreck….the cat litter is stinking up the house…..the kids are eating Tagalongs for breakfast…..lunch….whatever….mascara from yesterday is making me look like a raccoon…....breathe in and out…....yes I am feeling better now….....damn these Tagalongs are good!

Okay…I have come to the conclusion that I am too critical and impatient with people on an intellectual level. I wonder if I am locking good people out of my life because I automatically switch the off button in my mind when they are talking…and do or say something that I do not like…nothing of importance all of the time. It may not even be something they say. I have a hard time even considering talking to a man with facial hair…talking to… like dating. It is just a huge turn off for me..digusting. What is worse than the facial hair is when you meet someone who meets the physical criteria and then they open their mouth. It is easy to type back and forth to someone and think that you have something in common etc.. then when you talk in person, it is a different story. Should the tone of someone’s voice end something before it begins?