Wake up to how my life is now, and work towards the life I want

‘be brilliantly organised’

(Goal 1)
Worked on the house today, singing to my music, timer on for 45 minutes at a time, delighting in seeing it get better. Tidied the sitting-room and a couple of bedrooms.

(Goal 2)
Looked into having the carpets professionally cleaned.

(Goal 26)
Did some study, a little on my script writing – looking at ‘zen and the art of script writing’, a good book! Am beginning to build up the characters, using ones from a short script we had to do for creative writing, back before Christmas. The tutor at the time said it ‘had legs’ – and the rest of the class applauded, which was wonderful! It was a fantastic feeling firstly to have the words I’d written spoken by a couple of the other students, and secondly to have such an appreciative response. That was only a couple of pages though… this is much more serious stuff!

Also worked on my image/text, am seeing the tutor tomorrow, have jotted down some ideas. This module is only 10 credits, but not only is there a lot of work to it, but also for some reason am having difficulty grasping the aim of it, very frustrating!

(Goal16/ this goal!)
Did couple of loads of laundry, and sorted out my goals on here. I’ve finally done my ‘definitive’ list. Really this time. I have dated it with a from/to date, to ‘end’ 12th June, so I shall not change anything for three weeks – but actually work on them. Oh yes!

And goal 43, having only put it on yesterday – it’s working. I’m making that decision to get on and live life, not wallow in chocolate, sofa cushions and self-pity. Ok, just remembered I did pour some of it out – but into my image/text art, so if the hurts I’ve had lead to my being commissioned to produce some wonderful Art for someone – it’s all been worth it! It was quite nicely cathartic, let some rage spill out through my pen and paper, but no tears, shouting, depression or melancholy. |Cheer for therapuetic art!

So a really good, achieving day, feeling so good about myself.

There are some very good things about my life as it is now. However, I need to sort out my two main worries: my financial situation is dire, and I fear we may need to move because of the untidiness.

There are other issues I need to wake up to and sort as well, such as go out more, make new friends, eat healthier, etc.

I have felt disconnected, as if what is happening – good and bad – isn’t quite real. As I feel better, it feels as though I am waking up from a long sleep. Sort of, wow, is my life this now? Living here, with these two lovely sons? But also aaah! is this the pickle I’m in? this is scary, better sort it.

Responsible, sensible action needed, together with a full appreciation of the good things in life.