My thoughts were once again drifting into ‘I wish I’d…’. This time it was wishing that, instead of renting a property, I had gained a full time job, and bought one. (This is one that keeps going around in my head, as do many of my ‘if only’ thoughts. Which is so time wasting, energy sapping and plain ridiculous! To have that ‘if only’ thought once is bad enough, but to keep replaying that negative, frustrating tape over and again is even worse.)
This time, for the first time, my empowering self kicked in, and I suddenly thought ‘it doesn’t matter, because I’m going to build a successful business and have enough to buy my own home anyway’. From reflective regret, to feeling highly motivated and energised at the thought of working on this exciting ambition was a wonderful moment. This is what I will now use, whenever I start those navel gazing, damaging thoughts again: ‘it doesn’t matter’.
I will use it in two ways. For example, it doesn’t matter that my ex and I were totally unsuited, because we did have some happy times, he was the one who finally made me confident about playing sport, and of course we had two lovely lads. And, it doesn’t matter in that I may still meet someone and we have a wonderful life together, which would not have happened if I my life had progressed differently. (And even if not, then I still have had, am having and will have amazing experiences, and something I very much value is that through our marriage breakdown, and finding myself alone, I have discovered how incredibly strong, resourceful, creative,resilient I am, which is a wonderful thing to disover about yourself.)
So, this simple but effective, empowering phrase I will use, both to examine and appreciate that what seemed only negative and damaging did have a positive contribution to my life, and use it to look forwards and delight in how I am working to implement exciting things in my life.
Reflective and projective.
One extra note about the original thought:
It is silly to think like this anyway, because we have been so very happy here!
