ComplexAndSearching in Germany is doing 18 things including…

give up


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ComplexAndSearching has written 5 entries about this goal

Not Me

I don’t give up. It goes against my nature. No matter how zen this might be.


how it seems now that I’ve finally given up, gotten thru all the anger and frusration, I’ve found myself right back where I started but with a better attitude…


10 days ago I read an entry by raslalique about giving up ( The article referenced made a very zen point about how just giving up can get you to a better place. I’m bad at giving up. I insist on what I want, even when I know better. Right now, I’m exhausted in an effort to give up. Because I still want S. I want things to work out and it’s hard to give up, not reach out. I’m confused and hurting. I want answers and I’ve always been bad about pushing things too far. I cause my own problems. I have probably put things where they are between me and S. I have the drive to be what some people have called persistent or determined. Others have called me stubborn or hard headed. Usually it pays off. The funny thing about getting what you want is that you may not be getting what is good for you.

Easier said...

... than done.

Doing This Now

I met some one about 10 months ago. He’s a really amazing person and I just love the way I feel when I spend time with him. I was still married when I met him. Since the divorce, we’ve been talking again and it made me really hopeful something would happen. Just everything feels off. Timing seems to suck. I just want things to go right and I know that I can’t MAKE that happen. And the longer this has gone on, the harder it’s been for me. We were supposed to talk this weekend, but he didn’t answer the phone. There could be lots of reasons this happened but the simple fact is he didn’t answer the phone and I was hurt by it. Hurt more than is probably good for me right now. You see, I’m moving on from all the broken places and for as much as I’d like to have him in my life, I already have so many other good things. I need to focus on those good things and not wish for other things which may or may not happen. So, I’m giving up. Que sera, sera…


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