I might not be 100% all the time but i swear that ive done this . I trust myself enough now to not allow people to judge me for things that they do not perceive as well as myself . I see now that i wasnt really worried about what other people thought of me at all , i wanted there approval because i wasnt strong enough on my own and because of that i worried that they would dissaprove of me and therefore make me less of a person . I now realise thats insane , and that the approval i sought came from within.
And im much much happier because of it .
I have to say im getting better with this , i think its just a part of trusting myself enough to know that im o.k , that i look o.k , that i know what im tallking about . That said i still have my days when paranoia sets in – but im not letting it rule my life . I will no longer hold myself up in my room instead of going out becauae im concerned about how people will perceive me . And thats not nothing – thats something
I find myself saying things , doing things , wearing things ect because i think that other people will accept me more . I become nervous about how i come across , how i look and how i am affecting other people – its paralysing and annoying .
I sometimes play it safe because i think others may not get what im doing or my thoughts which as a result means that alot of people dont really know the real me. This is just cheating myself and i need to stop – to become more confident in who i am instead of just pretending that i am.