beat social anxiety

http://actualfreedom.com.au/actualism/vineeto/selected-writings/investigatefeelings.htm

The difficulty of solving emotional problems is the beguiling nature in each instance that such an emotion takes. It is mostly a subconscious process. This is because the fight-or-flight response is programmed innately and is not governed by the relatively-slow-in-comparison conscious mind. This is why most people have such a difficulty with and usually never uncover such problems, but often instead learn to cover the holes, as it were, and to suppress the problems with whatever methods they choose, be it; alcohol, drugs, TV, comfort eating, relationships, video games, etc. Suppression of negative emotions can be useful in the short-term if the side effects of those methods that govern them are not too destructive, but overall it is best to actually solve the problems. Especially when the long-term is concerned. It provides the opportunity for a much greater quality life and much greater quality of living.

The best approach would be one of an aspiration to amend such problems in their entirety over the long-term, gradual period that they often take, whilst also utilising the safety and appeasement that suppression and catharsis offer. The method(s) of said suppression and catharsis should be as salubrious as possible and spare as much detriment as possible.

The conscious mind cannot directly commune with the subconscious mind or directly observe and analyse it, but it can indirectly. You have to look for subconscious psychic clues, as it were. Monitor each sensation; each movement. Continuously trace back each instance and over time you will gradually pick up more clues and get more insight into its nature and workings.

Usually such problems can be defined in tangible, conscious propositional attitudes. This can make the process more manageable and clear. These are virtually always manifold in hundreds or as many as thousands that need to be extirpated. This thought in itself almost seems as if it would take ten lifetimes to solve such problems, but this is not the case. The process, over time, becomes quicker, easier and more and more results are gained for the simple reason that these propositional attitudes are not isolated. They are all entirely interrelated in some way or another. To extirpate one is to automatically decimate many others and as a result the process becomes exponential. Thus, although solving such problems is often gradual and takes a long time, as improvements are made the successes multiply every time.

I’ve actually been a lot more confident in myself these past few weeks. I still have a long way to go, but any progress is good :) I think the reason I’ve been improving is that first of all because I’ve just been more accepting that people are not being as judgemental as I usually feel they are.

Although I am eccentric and hypersensitive in personality, I feel less afraid to express myself and I’m realising people don’t actually care! And they never really cared before! I taught myself that they did and ingrained and conditioned that belief since I was very young and, because of my abusive upbringing, learned that ‘the world isn’t a safe place’, so I learnt how to hide well.

Of course there is still a lot that I feel is necessary to hide as the people in my immediate environment are less than accepting of any kind of eccentricity, but the beliefs I held before were totally blown out of proportion and nonsensical. I still have to work on that, but I’m getting better. I imagine when I move out away from le family I will improve a lot further.

Hum, hum, hum. A lot of this problem relates to expression too. I need to keep working on that aspect. I’m so touchy when it comes to expressing who I am as a person – whether here on 43T, when blogging, or IRL, or whatever – because it just becomes utterly frustrating when I feel I can’t do that entirely accurately. I’m terrible at English language, for one, and I’m terrible at guitar and with music for another :P A lot of other things I want to work on too :P

It disgusts me when I misrepresent myself as a person :P

Okay, a thought just crossed my mind!

I was thinking…although to a limited degree, chatrooms could help with this! Some aspects of my anxiety this could be effective for. I find I can often react quite negatively – usually anxiously – in response to when someone attempts to attack me.

I seem to cling to the idea that what they say is important and often feel that I have to defend the beliefs I hold that conflict with what they are saying. Engaging in such conversations could help to elucidate the whole matter and thus decimate such beliefs. Just have to find such pugnacious and belligerent people first XD

If I do utilise such a strategy, it probably won’t be for a few months. I want to do some research kinda things first, as detailed in one of my prior entries on this goal.

Some questions I came up with to help elucidate the potential problems, causes and solutions in situations:

What thought, action, or circumstance triggered this response? Is this thought, action or circumstance preceded by anything else that incited it? Was THAT caused by anything?

Were these processes irrational?

Were they intelligent? Was it necessary that I engaged in the above to prepare to protect myself? Was the situation likely to have turned physically detrimental?

Are there easier ways around these problems; am I being too stubborn?

Am I being unrealistic?

Is this situation really capable of becoming ruinous?

Do you believe this because it has happened before in similar situations? How often did it happen in such situations? How often did it not happen in such situations?

Even if this situation could turn detrimental, why should you feel the need to respond to it with fear? It is more effective to respond to it with intelligence and apropos.

What constitutes such a belief system? What reinforces it?

Has this situation or circumstance always been a problem? If not, what changed before the point it became a problem? Was this change the result of anything influential in your immediate environment? How did you feel about this before it became a problem? Is this problem associated with other problems?

What are your ideas about this situation? What do you think might happen? What do you think IS happening? What are you expecting? What is the worst that this situation could evolve into? What is the outcome most likely to be?

Does this problem seem to create any others? Why? What is the link between these problems?

Do/are other people experiencing the same/similar situation? How do THEY react to it? Is it a problem for them too? If not, why not? If so, why?

What other angles could you approach this from?

What could you do differently that you don’t usually do in such a situation?

Some things I want to study, read about or research in depth in order to help with this:

Anxiety
Social anxiety
Social phobia
Systems
Logic
Propositional attitudes
Presupposition
Biology (feedback)
The human brain
Fight-or-flight-response
Meditation
Psychology
Stress response
Awareness
Self-image
Perception
Neurology
Neuro linguistic programming
Cognitive behavioural therapy
Emotional freedom techniques
Psychotherapy
Social anxiety success stories
Thought
Emotion
Subconious
Conciousness
Neurophysiology
Neuropsychology
Psychoanalysis
Reasoning
Intentionality
Premises
Introspection
Extrospection
Belief
Personal identity
Rationality
Logical fallacies
Validity
Deductive reasoning/syllogisms
Inductive reasoning
Mental Health
Mind
Coping techniques
Emotional expression
Cognition
Autoquestioning
Hypnosis
Natural relaxation remedies (kava kava, suntheanine, etc.)
Disposition
Sensitization
Neural adaptation
Truth
Knowledge
Negative feedback
Peripheral nervous system
Central nervous system

This is just for the theoretical aspect of it ;)

I wish not to take anything for granted.

...Ha!

There is indeed much hope for this, despite how inexorable anxiety may seem to be to some.

In most cases, this may well take a considerable amount of time to significantly mitigate – and eventually extirpate. But you have to make a start. It would seem most people are not aware of how to approach this mammoth of a problem. But as I had said in a previous entry on a previous account now deleted, anxiety is simply the result of a belief system. Simple. The laborious part is challenging the potentially many hundreds of beliefs and propositional attitudes that one has created. ‘Twill not happen overnight.

I will start working on this daily rather soon.

I recently posted entries to this goal on an account very similarly named to this one, but deleted it for various reasons. I am now back, and will be posting my experiences and progresses made with this goal over time.