Live out the declaration of a word changer

my summer missions 2006 has come to an end. Every year I leave and come back so much closer to God. This year was no exception. I can’t believe how… God is just blowing my mind!It’s really hard though when you don’t have the support of friends or anyone around you that really understands. I, however, am DETERMINED to get where God wants me to be. I think the first step in doing that is to put actions to words. I seriously say the declaration everyday, but now it means something. When I first got back from CR I could not get through it w/o crying b/c it became real. It is real now, it’s a serious struggle everday in real life to live that out. When you’re on the missionfield it’s a lot easier to do. You can clearly see how to “be a part of something bigger than myself.” When you have scheduled QT it’s easier to “dedicate my life to prayer.” With Godly people around you to hold you accontable it’s even easier to “live honorably through my thoughts actions and speech.” I think I really struggle with that. I have absolutely no one around me to hold me up and to hold me accountable… I dunno it really is a struggle everyday and I feel so alone in it sometimes, but I know it’s a trick of the enemy, but that doesn’t make it easy. But at the end of the day I sleep wake up and decide anew to take up my cross and press on. I am determined to make it!