grow

... talks a lot about growth. When he talks to the Colossians he says that he has prayed that they would grow in knowledge, wisdom and understanding of God. Just about evey church he writes to he always emphasizes some form of growth. I was just reading in IICorinthians where he talks about his desire, basically for them to grow up. He says that his prayer is for their perfection [also translated maturity]. He felt the church in Corinth had grown stagnant; it was at the same stage of growth since his last visit.

I am fighting so hard right now against growing stagnant, but as each day goes by it becomes increasingly harder to… grow closer, I guess. There is soooo much more I have to learn and do, but it seems like… I dunno, like I have to wait on the timing. So in the meanwhile I’m kinda just stuck… here… marking time, being seemingly unproductive and I think that stresses me out. I really want to use this time to grow and to… I dunno, find something productive and life-changing and difference making to do. Whatevs…

..yeah that’s a really dorky allusion, but it’s true. My true focus right now is to put the right things inside of me and to parttake in the kinds of things that will help me grow more and more in His word, more and more in His will and more and more in His way. My biggest fear is complacency. Actually, my biggest fear is failure, but I almost see the two as one. Once I get to a point where I’m completly cool with just staying here, not growing, not evolving, that’s failure.