have a quiet time everyday

... I’ve found the problem. Okay all theory, but whatevs. So I have a great experience with God; like the whole Dallas excursion. I am like drentched in His presence, filled with His spirit, anointed afresh- all is well. I have a pretty good run of keeping my QT and slowly, but surely the Quality of my QT just goes to the pits. Okay so I’ve known this for awhile; the question is why? Why do I fall into the same vicious, painful cycle? So I’ve found that I just like… I dunno this makes sense in my head, I begin not to value His presence. While you’re drentched a fresh drop of water no matter how… refreshing isn’t of as much value as when you’re in like the dry place where just a drop would mean the world. I think I get used to the overflow and I don’t realize how precious it is that I even get to be damp, let alone drentched. I lose sight of the fact that there are people everyday dying of thirst, people who have known all their lives nothing but thirst, yet I have the priviledge to… okay the water metaphore, a little cheesy, but it’s true. As mind-blowingly amazing as the presence of God is, after I get back in the swing of things, I begin to take Him for granted as if I deserve the priviledge of knowing Him intimately, as if I, rather than the millions of dying souls, deserve to meet with Him, to be filled with His spirit, to be anointed and used by Him… I dunno Now I have to do whatever it takes to make this cycle stop. I have to take time out to deliberately aknowledge and appreciate the overwhelming value of His presence. I gotta stop trying to live off of yesterdays anointing and seek each day to be refilled. I dunno… that’s it

I’ve thankfully gotten back into one of my good stretches. It seems like it takes me getting to such a sucky place mentally and spiritually for me to realize that I can’t neglect my time with Him. The closer and higher I get in Him the more important that time becomes b/c the more and more I feel attacked. NEwho, I just want to be consistent and close.

Why can I not seem to CONSISTENTLY do this whole-heartedly? I’ll be so good for so long then, nothing… or it gets worse and worse til I’m just reciting a scripture and praying as I drive to school or work. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to God in the car or wherever, but there’s nothing like just sitting in that place completely focusing on Him. Then when I do get the opportunity it seems that I just can’t focus how I want to… AND I’m THE biggest procrasinator in the universe and that doesn’t help…