lose 40 pounds

and disgusted with myself right now. I have fell into a laziness that stemmed from giving myself no boundaries on Thanksgiving. I should have known better, but it sucks to be dieting during the holidays.

I need to regain control of myself, because this weight isn’t going to come off on its own.

I found out yesterday that my cheap-walmart bathroom scale is inaccurate as hell. It pisses me off because it is the same scale that I have been using since I was last weighed at the doctor’s office in February of this year. When I put a 25lb weight on it, it was weighing light by about 6 pounds. I know that 6 pounds isn’t alot, but it enough to piss me off. I know I’ve lost weight, and it should be quite a bit, since I’ve dropped a few sizes since Feb. but I can’t help but be pissed off. At this point, I don’t even know what I weigh. GRR!

I survived 30 minutes of cardio. I just couldn’t catch my breath and my thighs were burning soo bad. I feel good though, might even do it again today.

Yay.

For about 3 weeks now, I have only been drinking water (except my morning coffee). I probably shed at least 400 calories daily just doing that. I have also been paying more attention to what I eat and how much, trying to stick as close to 1200 calories per day as I can. Some days I screw it all up, and other days I never even come close to it, so I guess it balances out somehow.

Yesterday I started a conditioning yoga- mostly exercises to help me to learn the proper way to breathe, but every little bit helps. Today I am going to attempt my first cardio exercise since being diagnosed. It’s a 40 minute low impact workout so I’m hoping to survive at least 20 minutes if not better.

I weighed myself yesterday afternoon- I’m at 165. Last time I weighed myself I was at a disappointing 168.

Short-term, I want to lose 15 pounds by Christmas. Seems realistic right?

I played with our dog for about 30 minutes, darting around the living room, throwing her ball, and rough housing. She is a very hyper dog (half Jack Russell) and she needs about two hours of exercise daily, so I’m going to play with her a lot more often than I have been.

I also walked out to the mailbox, and tried to stay on my feet rather than my butt more often today.

Did some arm exercises too.(to eliminate that flappy fat) I haven’t done them in MONTHS and I can feel it. I’ve got to stop being so lazy.

Also moved my laptop to a less comfortable location, to help with sitting around losing hours online.

It’s a slow process, but doing what I can manage at a given moment is most important right now. Once these things become habit, I won’t have to try so hard to do them.

I really need to stop making excuses for myself about losing weight. Being a healthy weight is very important to me, and will affect alot of my other goals.

Tomorrow will be a brand new day for me and this goal-this is a promise I am making to myself, and I’ve never broken any promises to anyone else-it’s time to include myself in that.

In February of this year, I was diagnosed with Intracranial Hypertension (IH), which basically means that my body produces too much cerebro spinal fluid (CSF), or it inadequately drains it—either way, I have too much CSF inside my head which causes me daily severe headaches, and at its worst, double vision and possibly blindness. When I got my diagnosis, I weighed 186 pounds. Since weight can possibly be a contributing factor to this disorder, it is my goal to get myself down to a healthy weight. In May, I dropped down to 159 pounds, due to side effects from my medications, plus my dieting on top of that.

Anyhow, I now seem stalled at 163 pounds, and now that Summer is just about over, I need to get back to my routine that I had before Summer. (The bad thing about this disorder is exertion and overheating, plus prolonged exposure to sunlight makes the symptoms worse, and I live in Central GA)

I don’t have a timeframe in which I want to lose the weight, I just want it gone.