be comfortable in my own skin

today with a few friends. I can honestly say that I was shocked to even be invited, much less included in this little clique. I am by far, appearance-wise, much different than these women. We have a ton in common otherwise, but my being from a different area and not working currently sets me apart from them, so who knows what we will talk about.

All that aside, I am sooo ready for this- I need/want the time away from the husband (other than when he goes to work), and I’m looking forward to hangin out with the girls.

Now…what to wear…HA.

Tonight was one of those nights. In certain company, I’m myself, and tend not to worry about the menial things. But tonight we went to a football party and had to uh, intermingle for lack of a better word. I’m not a very social person, and I’m just not comfortable around people I don’t know, so I tend to back off and watch everyone else have a good time, and join in where I feel comfortable enough. I guess right now working on this is going to be hard for me, having my dental issues and being somewhat overweight. I’m just not comfortable with socializing, smiling, laughing, basically having a good time, unless I’m in that comfort zone. Husband kept trying to push me into doing kareoke with about 5 beautiful young women-he got pissed at me for not participating, but there was no way. I’m ashamed and embarrassed to open my mouth, much less belt out the lyrics to some of my favorite songs-just let me be right by myself not drawing attention from anyone. Is that too much to ask? Ugh, I’ve got a long way to go…