write down my thoughts

I’m scared. I’m worried that the prospective isn’t the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Pros:
-We make each other laugh
-We can be goofy
-He tries to be open minded
-We like trying new foods together
-We like sports

Cons:
-He doesn’t understand my feelings
-He is from a different background that makes things difficult for him to understand.
-Cultural differences that he refuses to acknowledge
-He doesn’t want to travel like I do.
-He doesn’t like the arts.
-I feel like he holds me back in my ambitions.

Reasons I think he loves me:
-I can put him in his place
-I understand him
-He likes that I’m well educated and polite.
-We can have good conversation (when he’s not lazy)
-I’m the first girl he’s fallen in love with.

fuck i’m falling.

We’re not dating, we’re just getting to know each other…

Hold off the sex.

But I like you.

Does he want me or not???

Under what circumstance would a guy you’re seeing go and sleep with another girl under the same roof as you?
Moreover, he comes back after he fucks her the first time, then 3 hours later, he goes back to her.
He couldn’t wait three more days until I had left???
Is it too much to ask for fidelity just while I’m there??
I spent christmas with his family and his family friends.
I’m not a random one night stand, we know each other.
He saw me crying and almost had a smirk on his face, then asked me why I was crying.
He takes the bitch out for breakfast the next day and asks me if I want anything????
I leave him and he tells me to have a good time and tells me to say hi to my friend?
What do I do now?? How am I supposed to act? Am I meant to be angry at him? Do I pretend everything is ok???
I dont get it… I just don’t understand…
Why would he be so caring and nice to me one minute and then do this to me?

Is it true that Marines are untrustworthy?

Would it really be that bad if I went to see him out of state (it’s only an hour and half away by train)

Would it really be that dangerous??

Get…

Off…

This…

Bloody…

Website…

And REVISE!!

Does not make love.

I cried in the middle of wrapping christmas presents.

I usually love wrapping presents.

I even had christmas music on.

I couldnt stop crying.

I have decided that I no longer care about getting a boyfriend.

It’s been a hectic 4 weeks in Tsinghua, I’ve had so much fun, today was the last lesson… I feel really sad its over…
I’m also kinda pissed off with the guys… I don’t know…
I always seem to have more guy mates than girls, but then get pissed at guy flaws…
I hate the decision of whether to forgive and forget, which in this case I feel like I’m being a bit of a mug, the puppy dog factor, but then just getting over it. Or, to forget them and find other people to hang around with.
I feel like they walk over me, and they don’t really care, but they do at the same time… That’s guys for you.
Psh, my first entry in weeks and it’s moaning about men – again.

Tsinghua has been an amazing experience, I’m so glad I came, I was crying in class, I’m going to miss all my students. If there was another camp next year, I wouldn’t hesistate in coming back. The memories from this trip will keep me happy for a long while.