I was told two years ago I had borderline personality disorder and now this past month I was told bi-polar. All I know is that I have a really hard time controlling my emotions and I internalize everything and blame myself for every little thing. I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart. I gave up drinking and drugs years ago, I even gave up smoking. I have joined a church, I have a five year old son and I am trying to live the best way possible but I hate who I am which makes me hate the world and the other people that live in it. I dont want to be this way forever. Sometimes I think… well, if I didnt want to be like this then I wouldnt so I must just be a really bad person to continue to feel this way. I am looking for others who can relate and who truly want to be a good person, others who are in therapy and hopefully making progress. My goal is to get better so I can have a healthy relationship with my child bc my was horrific with my parents and I know he will feel the same way unless I change. Is there help out there? Does therapy really work?
